GDB 71.0: BATTLE OF ALBERTA
Wanye
March 16 2012 12:20PM

Oh hey Calgary. How’s things? It’s just Wanye - your friendly neighbour to the North. Just thought we’d pop in with a few friends to talk about the ice hockey match this evening.
Things aren’t as dire up here in Edmonton as seasons of XXth, 30th, 30th and 29th would suggest. Yeah we know you are better than us on paper. You have an all world goalie capable of winning you any game he decides. We have a worn out old Russian and some 9 foot something or other backing him up.
Your Captain has X 30 goal seasons in a row, our Captain makes $30 million dollars a game.
PROOF MEET PUDDING

We know that you have been to the playoffs X times since 2006 and all we have been getting up here is our collective asses handed to us. We know we aren’t even close to you in the standings.
We know that the cumulative 5 year record of our respective teams is:
We know all sorts of facts.
Having said all of that:
WE WOULD RATHER BE US THAN YOU
That’s right. The Oilers are coming out of an extended dark age and yours are only beginning now. And you know it too – don’t even pretend you can’t see four or five years of basement dwelling on the horizon ahead of you. Look how old you are! And the no trade clauses! Tsk tsk tsk. It boggles the mind!
Had any UFA or RFA of note chosen the Edmonton Oilers in the past 10 years we might be in a similar pickle. But guess what. They didn’t. And the garbage that we were able to sign are almost all off the books. Then you know what happens? That’s when the winning starts.
Now sure that might be tomorrow and not today. We know that you are surging ETC ETC ETC and hope to put a playoff berth firmly in your sights tonight. And we know that this ain’t exactly the best Oilers squadron of the past 3
There are many areas the Oilers can whip the Calgary Flames at and this includes:
SEXIER BRASS
Sutter v Renney? Are we kidding here? Not to mention that the corpse of Tambellini could be left in the sun for a week and be more attractive in a bathing suit than Jay Feaster. No no, this isn't even a contest between the two franchises.
MORE RYANS

Compare the rosters
MORE SQUEEE

Something something
MORE NUGE

Something something
AND SO
In closing here are some more incendiary quotes from OilersNation via twitter:
@bcherri01 This one is for first dibs on tee times #battleofalberta
@JSBMrevolution Time to show the world who the REAL best cousin kissers are #Wait #battleofalberta
@MyqWilson “Who wins BOA? Jay Feaster asks for the question to be rephrased in the form of a cheeseburger*
You are the worst monsters in human history. We look forward to watching you miss the playoffs.
Signed,
A team out of the playoffs for XX consecutive months
PS Even at the end of the article we would STILL rather be us than you.
The only things that Edmonton has going for it is easy access to underage Asian prostitutes, cheap crystal meth and cheap modular housing. I don't really see these points of civic pride to be very enticing to Hall, Everle and Hopkins. You have wasted there ELC years on unmmmmm boring last place hockey. That's rad. No free agent will sign in Edmonton because they don't want there family to be murdered. Oh wait you go Cam Barker.... Slow clap. The only good thing to happen to Edmonton ever was a tornado which meant that 27 people got to leave Edmonton for free!!! Have fun not assembling a winning team by the time your three young guys leave! And they will leave, as would most of you if you could afford gas.... Or a car.
Whats an Everle?
Also, I hate you VF, and welcome to a page 6 FN.
Ok, I'll try again
#watchsh!tforyears
Does that work for you up in Edmonton?
Did someone say Gretzky was overrated????
I guess if you're ignorant yet arrogant, you might be a Flames fan.
you mean 'their' not 'there'
lay off our meth
#eatsh!t
Circumventing the cap?
Tinfoil hats at the ready - head over to department of homeland hockey security and report those nasty Flames.
Number of playoff rounds won by Calgary since lockout: 0
slow clap
#eatsh!t
Nothing Flames is "Vintage"..
Go crunch the numbers on Gretzky on the Oilers vs the rest of his career.
Get back to me later, I've already done it.
Mario > Wayne
Calgary has won more playoff rounds than the Capitals since 1998?
What is your point? Want to go through the whole NHL and see where they rank?
@Mark-LW
Haha sorry. I phone typing. #firstworldproblems
My rational voice tells me the Oilers will improve in the next few years, while the Flames will decline. The Oilers best players are under 25. Calgarys best players are over 35. If the Flames don't make the playoffs this year, there are no signs pointing to an improved Iginla and Kiprusoff next year. Hall, Eberle and Nugent-Hopkins are expected to be better next season. It's also a lot easier to improve team defense then team offense. So all signs point to a better Oilers team and a worse Flames team. I don't want to cheer for a team that competes for a playoff SPOT. I want to cheer for a team that competes for a STANLEY CUP.
Gretzky was overated, and in case your wondering we we will suck our 50 cocks all at once, were not doing it like u in shelbyville sucking 50 over 50 months.
Haha that last post was not me. Haha. That makes no sense.
yep, the plug only put up 1290pts in 871 games post oilers
You are so far from the Stanley Cup that you may as well get the Hubble telescope set up before you even start thinking about it.
Iggy and Kipper can be traded, you don't know the return, you have no idea what will happen, neither do I. Oiler fans have been on the crack pipe of hope and illusion for so long that they live in an imaginary land.
Talking about the Cup when you are the 2nd worst team in the NHL is really interesting. Your three big superstars played this season you know. Didn't see much progress.
There are a lot of pitfalls ahead and one of the biggest ones is the clock ticking on those players. You better pray they want to resign because they very well may walk like Kovie and Jbo did and then you got nothing but a disappearing smoke ring left, not a Cup ring.
I thought that was a strange post. Funny regardless.
Seen this somewhere else on the www, thought it would fine a home here...
This game will be a nightmare for Mr. Willis' moneypuck passion for statistics. This one will throw his 5v5, 5v4, 4v5 data into the trash can. Oilers win big, 75-1, Oilers unfortunately allow an empty netter working a 6v5 in the last minute.
Mario - 915 GP - 1,723 pts.
Are we still talking about this or is it over yet?
P.S. Gretzky wanted to leave Edmonton, he requested the trade, it was all a big act with fake tears. Pocklington had to take the fall for it.
talking about what? you said gretzky post oilers and then you compare it to lemieux's career numbers?
so, if i follow, gretzky playing for the oilers doesnt count because the team was so good. we have to look at gretzky post oilers to accurately compare. lemieux playing with multiple HHOFers stands because it wasnt with the oilers.
about right?
Are you saying the Penguins team that Mario played on, player by player was as good as the Oiler team Gretzky played on? Player by player?
By the way I am not saying Gretzky was a bad player just not as good as Mario.
I don't need to plug any numbers anywhere. The record books says Gretzky is the greatest player of all time but you seem to think he's overrated.
Jebus man, at least bring a knife to this gunfight. Shooting elastics will be no match for my SMith and Wesson.
@The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33
Gretzky wins cause his daughter is smoking hot. Thank god that his time in Edmonton didn't warp his ability to reproduce.
Team game and let me put it this way. The Oilers won their 5th Cup without the Gretz, he never won another Cup for the rest of his career.
All players on that team benefited from each other, Mess, Coffey, Kurri etc. Don't get that and you probably didn't watch them play.
His wife cheated on him with a real man. You think that girl is truly Gretzky DNA.
The game needs to hurry up and start...
@Mitch2
Your right. Matt Stajan is probably the father.
no, im not saying that.
mario, the player, may have been better IF he were healthier. IF he had stayed healthy we may be having a different conversation right now.
alot of great players have played on alot of great teams. nobody has come close to gretzkys career numbers. was he the best player all time? personally i would say bobby orr was. once players get to that level, it is more of a 1A 1B 1C type thing, rather then a player a is better than b scenario. Some people will say orr, others howe, others mario.
Mitch go look at the numbers of any player and show me guys who put up the same numbers between ages of 19-27 as they do from 27+.
In an era when everyone was scoring Gretzky scored 60, 70 and sometimes 80 more than everyone else in the league.
Not one single stat shows Lemieux was better offensively. The one thing Lemieux was better at was scoring on the PP. He had way more PP goals than Wayne, and we all know EV goals are harder to score.
You want to argue about Oilers and Flames go ahead, but bring up uniformed, inaccurate chirps about Lemieux makes most Flames fans embarrassed that you represent them I'm guessing.
Mitch 111,
You do know Gretzky is a hall of fame career in points ahead of the 2nd guy right? Thank you for making all Flames fans look stupid.
Teams have to start at the bottom and work their way up. Not walk around in no mans land for year after year and hope they sneak into the playoffs and then look for a miracle run. The days of bringing in free agents to put you over the top are over. Teams have to build from within to win. The Oilers have a lot of the parts now. To say we had all three superstars playing this year is flattering, but those guys a far from superstars yet. Within the next few years they should reach superstar status and dominate night in and out. If the Flames trade Iginla and Kiprusoff you'd better hope they get talent back and not draft picks. If not, the Flames will be wandering in the desert.
owned.
"Iggy and Kipper can be traded"
You heartless flamer - they are gods... you suck sir.
You're right, I see no trouble trading a 36 year old goalie(at start of next season) with two years left at 5.8 mil.
It might be a tough decision but I'd consider moving him for Columbus' first round pick.
GO JETS
Big Oilers fan here, and I would agree... if it weren't for Lanny McDonald. That stache was pure vintage all the way.
But still. ABC (anybody but Calgary), and Go oilers tonight.
comparing Gretzky past his prime to Mario's stats include his prime, nice.
Gretzky - 1487 GP - 2857
Somebodies points per game is hiiiiiigher.
@Mark-LW
Last time I checked, Mario Lemieux never played for the Calgary Flames. Why would a Flames fan bother to bring it up? Why don't they compare the Flames players to the Oilers players... or is it just too embarrassing for them?
This pissing match has been fun, but.....
The Flames fans better hope they win tonight or they will have to swallow hard and taste all the crap they have been spewing.
If the Oilers lose, oh well that is exactly what management has designed them to do right now. It sucks but it is still a step in the right direction.
Some people can't seem to wrap their heads around it but the Flamers can decide for themselves in 1-2 years, blow it up or rebuild around Backlund, Baertschi and Cammelleri. It will not take long to decide.
Lets Go Oilers, you have a ship to sink tonight.
Lanny McDonald was better than Gretzky
Best 'stache is a legitimate record right?
@Bucknuck
Flame Fans live in a fantasy world...just like the guy I saw at the Jets /Flames games in a Flames Jersey sporting number 8 and the namebar of..........
wait for this....................
"Ovechkin"
I tapped him on the shoulder and say "hey buddy .. umm". I stopped my question when I heard the snorting and grunting he was emitting because I would have had to use multisyllable words to ask...and why bother.
Nail Yakupov
Mod Edit: Yeah this isn't sticking around.
@NLR
are you kidding???? THIS IS SPORTS!!!!!!
You need to be banned!!!!
Moderated, my ass!!!!
Im not sure if oiler fans have heard of this guy Sven Baerschi.. 3 goals in his first 4 games. and hes 19.. and we didnt have to finish last place in the nhl to draft him
I am an Oilers fan, and I am pretty sure there is a "t" in that name there somewhere... by the by, all three kids are over 0.75 PPG, and they have played a whole season...
Nope. Sorry. If the Oilers lose, they're swallowing too. Plenty of this crap is theirs! Being built to fail isn't a valid excuse.
Get a grip
Hey Oilers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvJGQ_piwI0&feature=fvwrel