Usage of the word 'BITZ'

Patrick Johnston
February 08 2012 08:45AM

(Photo: Getty images)

An ode to Byron Bitz, with respect to George Carlin... 

Perhaps one of the most interesting words

in the English language today, is the word BITZ.

Out of all of the English words which begin with the letter B, BITZ is the only word referred to as the "B" word, it's the one magical word.

BITZ as most words in the english language,

is derived from German,

the word "Bitzzen", which means to be a bad-ass folk hero.

In English, BITZ falls into many grammatical categories.


As a transitive verb, for instance.

John BITZ-ed Shirley.

As an intransitive verb, Shirley BITZES.

It's meaning's not always sexual; 

it can be used as an adjective, such as

Byron's doing all the BITZ-ing work.

As part of an adverb,

Shirley talks too BITZ-ing much.

As an adverb enhancing an adjective,

Shirley is BITZ-ing beautiful.

As a noun, I don't give a BITZ.

As part of a word abso-BITZING-lutely,

or in-BITZING-credible.

And, as almost every word in the sentence,

BITZ the BITZ-ing BITZ-ers.


As you must realize, 

there aren't too many words 

with the versatility of BITZ.

As in these examples describing situations

such as fraud,

I got BITZ-ed at the used car lot.

Dismay, Aw BITZ it.

Trouble, I guess I'm really BITZ-ed now.

Agression, Don't BITZ with me buddy.

Difficulty, I don't understand this BITZ-ing question.

Inquiry, Who the BITZ was that?

Dissatisfaction, I don't like what the BITZ is going on here.

Incompetence, He's a BITZ-off.

Dismissal, Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-BITZ yourself?


I'm sure you can think of many more examples.

With all these multi purpose applications,

how can anyone be offended when you use the word?

We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.

It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly, and proudly!

BITZ you!

Patrick Johnston is a Vancouver journalist. In addition to regular contributions here at Canucks Army, his work has appeared in The Province, Hockey Now and on the CBC. Check out his blog and other writing at or follow him on twitter: @risingaction
#1 Cam Charron
February 08 2012, 08:52AM
Trash it!

Is BITZ not one of the seven words you can't say on TV?

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