You Know What I Hate?! - Jan 3

Cam Davie
January 03 2012 10:59AM


This sports fan is angry. And so am I.
He must really hate the latest deal on Groupon. Seriously, who needs that many pedicures?
Photo courtesy ghostgoal

Today I continue my weekly feature of me venting and raging on stupid crap happening with the Canucks, their fans and around the NHL. Two things about feature... 1) It will appear (hopefully) every Monday, and 2) It is blatantly ripped off from a stand-up bit from comedian Craig Anton. On either point, I make no apologies. Enjoy. Or don't.

In this week's edition, I give six punches to the face to lame inside jokes, useless exposes, and the endless array of Bowl Games.

You know what I hate?! Stupid inside jokes. Caman. Milk hotdogs?! What is that?! I know it started as a bet between the Sedins and Kesler. And made its way down to Bieksa last week. But this is just silly. It's not funny, or even really entertaining. If you are going to make a bet with someone to have them say something ridiculous on television, can you please make it entertaining?! Or shocking?! But milk hotdogs?! No. Nonononono. Not funny or entertaining to anyone other than the Sedins, Kesler and Bieksa. But I guess this is true of any inside joke - they're only funny to the people on the inside.

You know what I hate?! Defending deplorable fans. We heard last week that a teenage female Canucks fan was allegedly assaulted by some drunk a**hole Sharks fan at the Sharks/Canucks game in San Jose. Whether it's true or not is not the point here. And here is the reason why... Every fan base has their idiots. We Canucks fans should know this all too well. HOWEVER! You CANNOT defend this. And some moron Sharks fans on Twitter, even more idiotic than this stupid drunk woman, actually defending this person's actions, saying the young girl deserved it, she had it coming, etc, etc. DON'T DEFEND THIS! Just don't say anything at all. Just walk away. And by the way... if we find out that this woman DID assault this girl, I hope she gets the f*cking book thrown at her. Not because the girl is a Canucks fan (that's actually irrelevant), but because this type of behaviour at sporting events HAS to be stopped. But I'll wait to tear into that until we find out for sure.

You know what I hate?! Useless "exposes". Lynda Steele, of the CTV series "Steele On Your Side", has targeted the Vancouver Canucks and their ticket prices. WHAT!?!?! You're kidding, right?! Listen, I'm a huge Canucks fans. And I can't afford to go to games. But I get it. There is a years-long wait list for season tickets and they have sold out 380 consecutive games (regular season and playoffs). I'm going to give Lynda some advice. Instead of spending any time whatsoever talking to the Canucks management and staff, this report should have been a recording of you going to Kwantlen, enrolling in Economics 101 and learning about SUPPLY AND DEMAND. The tickets prices are high because EVERYBODY WANTS THEM. End. Of. Expose. And believe me, it kills me to defend the Canucks' ticket prices, given how high they are. But this is simple business. When your product is in high demand, you can charge more. Go find some other travesty to and report to the masses, Lynda.

You know what I hate?! 879 College Bowl Games!! I hate to bring out the "When I was a kid..." card but WHEN I WAS A KID there were 6 bowl games on TV - Citrus, Sugar, Orange, Fiesta, Cotton and Rose Bowls... AND THEY WERE ALL PLAYED ON NEW YEAR'S DAY!!! I don't really watch college sports, but I knew that January 1st was a day where I could focus on football and see what was happening. I don't want to search around to find a college bowl game to watch for a specific matchup. I want to turn on the TV on ONE DAY and flip around and find something interesting on. That's it. Seriously, there is a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Seriously. That's ridiculous.

You know what I hate?! New Year's Resolutions! Stop making them, people! If you want to commit to something, commit to it on November 21st. Or May 8th. Or any other random date on the calendar. If you need a specific date to act as your motivation to make a commitment, then you aren't really committed. Speaking of which, DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE?! People who work out at a gym who complain that the gym is full today. "Oh! Must be all those new year's resolutions!" Just shut up. We get it. You were working out before January 1st and you'll be working out after January 1st. Suck it up, and go back to paying $400 a month for your terrible membership. You know what I do?! I walk and run. Outside. FOR FREE.

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Cam was born in Greater Vancouver, raised in Greater Vancouver, and lives in Greater Vancouver. So, yes, he's from Vancouver. He attended his first Vancouver Canucks game on Dec 26th, 1980 and has bled orange/black/red/blue+green ever since. You can reach him on Twitter @tinfoiltuque or on e-mail at tinfoiltuque(at)gmail(dot)com.
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#1 Marda Miller
January 03 2012, 03:46PM
Trash it!
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New Years Resolutions suck and I am just happy knowing that all those extra bodies won't be taking up space on my elliptical machine in a month!

I'm gonna go eat a milk hot dog now and cry at the outrageous price of Canucks tickets.

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