NHL12 - Be a Gm Quirks

Kent Wilson
September 13 2011 12:59PM

 

 

EA Sports released their much anticipated NHL12 today. Reviews and reports of game play/mechanics have been trickling in on my twitetr feed today, some of which I have decided to share. Apparently EA has gotten quite clever with this iteration and the "Be a GM" game mode hides some rather idiosyncratic quirks and pitfalls.

Be a GM - Edmonton Oilers

- Players frequently suffer injuries. Particularly star players. Injury frequency actually increases when fighters are added to the roster.

- You have to deal with constant, annoying trade requests from every player in the organization.

- UFA offers to new players are automatically rejected.

- Baffling managerial decisions by Kevin Lowe crop up randomly and there's nothing you can do about them.

- Every game starts with the Oilers down by at least two goals.

- No Oilers goalie can maintain a SV% above .905.

- It is impossible to win a fight while playing as Zach Stortini.

Be a GM - Calgary Flames

- Automatically changes whatever GM name you input to "Ken King"

- Prospects are always returned to the minor team, even after being put on the Flames active roster.

- The playoffs end after round 1.

- Russian players cannot be traded for or signed.

- Newly signed players are automatically given a NTC.

- Consistently place 8th or below in the Western Conference, regardless of point totals.

- Players traded to Toronto automatically gain 5+ points to their overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded from Toronto.

Be a GM - Vancouver Canucks

- Only Vancouver players have an added "diving" rating, which is automatically 90 or above.

- Roberto Loungo is automatically pulled in high-pressure or important games.

- The Sedin twins can only stand idle while being assualted after the whistle.

- "Punch" buttons during a fight become "crouch" and "turtle" if the player is Alex Burrows.

- It is impossible to win four games in the Stanley Cup finals. 

Be a GM - Toronto Maple Leafs

- Cannot trade for or sign players with "toughness" ratings below 80. Related: Colton Orr cannot be traded from the team nor scratched from the active roster.

- Only one player with an overall rating of 90 or above is allowed on the roster at any given time.

- Any Goalie acquired will automatically see his rating fall below 70.

- During season simulations, the Leafs win rate will double once they have been eliminated from the playoff race.

- Phil Kessel's rating jumps from 55-85 randomly and for weeks at a time.

- Players traded from Calgary gain 5+ points to the overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded to Calgary.

Be a GM - Winnipeg Jets

- Dustin Byfuglien's weight increases by 2% every day of the off-season. The "pass" button automatically becomes another "shoot" button when playing as Byfuglien as well.

- For the first season, fans cheer no matter what happens on the ice. Attendance falls by 15% for every year after that, regardless of the team's success or failure on the ice.

- UFA's automatically demand 25% on top of initial offers.

- Don Wadell constantly calls with terrible trade suggestions.

- The season ends when the playoffs begin.

39d8109299a9795cb3b41a4e9b49d501
Former Nations Overlord. Current Fn contributor and curmudgeon For questions, complaints, criticisms, etc contact Kent @ kent.wilson@gmail. Follow him on Twitter here.
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#2 Archaeologuy
September 13 2011, 01:17PM
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Up, Down, Up, Down, Left, Right, Select, Start: Oilers select 1st overall every year.

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#3 Cam Charron
September 13 2011, 01:43PM
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"Be a GM, Edmonton Oilers"

-Have access to a bevy of free information compiled by your team's bloggers. Ignore it.

"Be a GM, Calgary Flames"

-Identical to the set-up as the Toronto Maple Leafs GM mode from NHL '09.

"Be a GM, Vancouver Canucks"

-Inherit a roster with some of the best players in the game. Take the credit for when the roster pays dividends.

"Be a GM, Toronto Maple Leafs"

-Even in single player, this mode can be played as GM of the Anaheim Ducks.

"Be a GM, Winnipeg Jets"

-'Ignore offseason' mode enabled.

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#4 Rain Dogs
September 13 2011, 02:32PM
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Oilers GM:

When you try and make a trade, it occurs and then the next time you play the game it's rejected, your player is returned with a rating 5 points lower. The only way to rid over-priced players is buy them out and put them in the minors.

Flames GM:

Every time you make a trade Olli Jokinen is added on. When he's on your roster he goes out, when you try and fill the hole, he comes back with the other players as well.

Canucks GM:

All loading screens are on fire. When Luongo allows more than two goals random fans spontaneously combust. If you make it to GM 7 of the final the screen gets increasingly filled with riot smoke until you cannot see and thus lose the game.

Leafs GM:

You cannot proceed to actually playing the game because you're constantly required to first play a Tetris-like "Plan the Stanley Cup parade route"

Jets GM:

You never actually play in Winnipeg, Bettman just randomly moves the team around to non-NHL market, global destinations. "Nairobi Jets"

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#5 Thomas Drance
September 13 2011, 01:03PM
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This rules.

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#6 Oilcruzer
September 13 2011, 01:57PM
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Brilliant.

Montreal:

- cannot resign players unless salary is tripled.

- free agents signed default to a rating of 55 or less

- crowd boos goalies throughout game if they let one goal in. This carries over through all home games until goalie has two back to back shutouts.

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#7 Shredder
September 13 2011, 02:02PM
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"Be A GM: Toronto Maple Leafs"

-every trade must be accompanied by 2 draft picks, NOTE: all Leaft picks will end up in the top 10 picks overall if traded, every pick acquired by the Leafs must be no better than 21st overall

-while player ratings for the Leafs players will be high, players will really play with ratings between 70-79 as they are all overrated.

-team must submit offers to every UFA on July 1st that has a rating of 80+, players automatically drop 10 points when signed by the Leafs

-the GM must make one press conference per day, otherwise team will automatically lose the next game

"Be A GM: Calgary Flames"

-No player under the age of 29 will be allowed to play on the big club

-draft picks will be unsignable and will demand a trade

"Be A GM: Vancouver Canucks"

-Sedin sisters must kiss each other after every goal

-Luongo will automatically let in 8 goals if opponent goalie doesn't "pump his tires"

-Team must change their jersey once every 2 years

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#8 Mantastic
September 13 2011, 02:12PM
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every team playing against the canucks must play a mini-game before the actual game called, "Pump Luongo's Tires".

while playing as henrik sedin, there are only 2 buttons; pass and dive.

while playing with or against the phoenix coyotes, they have prerecorded the annoucers to say the city's; Seattle, Portland, Kansas City, Hamilton and Quebec City, just in case.

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#9 mayorpoop
September 13 2011, 02:48PM
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funny funny stuff.

oilers - everytime the gm or coach speaks the words "we are a playoff team" you automatically get 1st overall pick.

toronto - no actual game play just video of ron wilson and brian burke doing interviews, both angrily of course.

calgary - jay feaster as pacman chasing the little white pills that are the playoffs. the ghosts are the players with no trade clauses, killing his dream. *special feature of farm report narrated by a sutter.

vancouver - burrows and kesler are constantly taking time time off to compete in diving events.

winnipeg - the gm is actually replaced by individual wives of players and they decide the fate of trades. dependant upon weather and shopping venues.

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#10 Tach
September 13 2011, 08:53PM
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Los Angeles

Any time you are negotiating with an RFA an arbitration decision on a comparable player will cause him to make unreasonable demands and hold out through training camp.

Florida

Any time your team is below the salary cap floor on July 1st the computer will randomly sign players at double their market value and double the reasonable term.

Philadelphia

All goalies signed for double market value, and automatically lose half of overall rating once season starts.

Dry Island mode - any player over 24 with more than 50 points has too much fun and must be traded.

New Jersey

Lamoriello Mode - Any time team exceeds salary cap at start of training camp, select one player to visit a doctor of dubious ethics who will declare him LTIR eligible.

New York Rangers

Top 3 UFAs each year tendered offers at double market value - but all may be assigned to minors at any contract value.

Colorado

Late season budget cut mode - in last 25 games of the season, all offers that lower salary paid this season or next are accepted.

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#11 jess
September 13 2011, 01:05PM
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The Vancouver Cancuks? Is that a new name?

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#12 Mojo
September 13 2011, 01:26PM
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Montreal:

All forwards acquired must be under 5"10.

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#13 Archaeologuy
September 13 2011, 01:53PM
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Ottawa:

Every player on your team has the letter "S" in their name replaced with "SHHH"

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#14 Domebeers.com
September 13 2011, 01:58PM
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Montreal

Automatically calls the cops whenever a player is hit

Ottawa

Fan noise option always set to '0'

Winnipeg

Real Estate agents mode enabled. Whenever a player chooses to live elsewhere, the media covers the terrible climate effects with stories about 'high house prices'

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#15 marty
September 13 2011, 02:51PM
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calgary flames

you only have centers on lines 2-4. line one can only have wingers

edmonton oilers

all the women in the stands have bruises on their legs

toronto

goes from 2011 to the start of the 1967 season so the team is relevant

montreal

carey price develops bi polar disease from game to game due to fans rollercoaster cheering

ottawa

not even in the game cause no one cares. also no one from ottawa has even noticed

winnipeg

fans are not to excited to use the word gold as nick name for a player. went from golden jet to golden arches with byfugliens off season work out regime.

either way ther first thing im doing when i get this after work is trading stajan and sending hagman to the minors.

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#16 Devon
September 13 2011, 07:42PM
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I'll do the Ottawa one some justice or at least try to.

Be a GM Ottawa...

Your best forwards will always be injured for at least 20 games.

Your team must always be captained by some guy name Alfredsson

Any coach you have hired can't last more then 2 seasons.

Goalies are told to dig a hole and bury there careers in it whenever they come to play for you.

While you have a great number one center you will be constantly told by fans to trade him for magic beans.

Your team will always just be good enough to be a contender but always be a pretender come playoff time.

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#17 Thomas Drance
September 13 2011, 01:03PM
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This rules.

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#18 Chris
September 13 2011, 01:08PM
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Ummm,, Stortini doesn't play for the Oilers?!@?!? Duh!

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#20 Chris
September 13 2011, 01:13PM
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He ended up with the Ducks right?

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#21 geoilersgist
September 13 2011, 01:15PM
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Actually had a good chuckle. Can't wait to pick a copy up today.

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#22 Woogie
September 13 2011, 01:15PM
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I can't wait for work to be done!!!! I think it's an xbox night.

I just went to future shop to pick up the game at lunch and there were 6 people in line. 5 of which were buying this game.

The other person was this woman buying a microwave and she kept hitting me in the back of the leg with her stupid cart!

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#23 Chris
September 13 2011, 01:15PM
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I was wrong,, Preds. All other Oilers that left ended up in Anahiem..

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#24 Quicksilver ballet
September 13 2011, 01:17PM
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You'd think by now they could've overcome that skating cardboard cut out on ice look in these computer games. Where's the 3D look to these arenas and players. I'm sure the Madden NFL must be better than hockey.

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#26 Rob...
September 13 2011, 01:19PM
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The Habs omission is as hilarious as it is appropriate. Thanks for that.

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#28 anon
September 13 2011, 01:23PM
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jess- shut up.

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#29 gord962
September 13 2011, 01:44PM
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Awesome - great work, Kent!

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#30 oilbaron
September 13 2011, 01:49PM
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I must admit, you had me going. Lol. I kept thinking to myself "I guess this years game is extremely realistic this year"

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#31 mslepp
September 13 2011, 01:54PM
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Calgary:

- While a defenseman is in control of the puck, the 'pass' button becomes the 'wrap it around the boards' button. 'Shoot' turns to 'glass and out'.

Hilarious, Kent!

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#32 Gigs
September 13 2011, 01:58PM
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What about Ottawa?

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#33 RexLibris
September 13 2011, 02:00PM
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Loved this.

Does anyone know if they've added the "riot" patch for Vancouver?

I'd like to see a special combination where a coach can rip out Harvey the Hound's tongue. Or maybe during a penalty you could transfer over to be one of the Green Men.

Does the GM mode for Ottawa have a minimum number of coaching changes required per season?

I'd heard that the Montreal feature would be that you have to pass a french-language exam before you can play the GM mode for the Habs.

I remember Madden 11 had something about the Raiders could only draft/sign players with prior convictions.

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#34 The Towel Boy
September 13 2011, 02:10PM
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"- Phil Kessel's rating jumps from 55-85 randomly and for weeks at a time."

I lol'd on that one.

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#35 Shredder
September 13 2011, 02:22PM
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...ok, maybe I'm having too much fun with this but...

"Be A GM: Ottawa Senators"

-may only sign players from Sweden

-all goalies with ratings over 79 will be injured for remainder of the season within the first 3 games

-will automatically drop one spot in every draft due to the lottery

"Be A GM: Montreal Canadiens"

-every contract over $7,000,000/year will not be able to put up over 10 goals

-a minimum of 2 players from every position will make the ALL STAR team due to fan voting and nothing to do with statistics, production or player rating

"Be A GM: Edmonton Oilers"

-will not be able to sign any UFA with a rating over 75

"Be A GM: LA Kings"

-will always come in 2nd place when trying to sign UFA's with ratings over 80

-all players acquired in a trade will require surgery due to internal doctor's recommendation despite being completely healthy

-the team will automatically have to take all summer to sign all RFA's

"Be A GM: Detroit Red Wings"

-every draft pick will turn into an NHL player at some point in their career

-Lidstrom will never retire or get injured and will automatically put up a minimum 40 points every year and be nominated for the Norris

-team will automatically make the playoffs every year as long as the team has Lidstrom

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#36 otto
September 13 2011, 02:25PM
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Back in the day E.A was the only way I had to evaluate trades.As soon as I heard about a move I would dash to the Sega to see who we got.However I quickly learned not to trust the player ratings.No way Gary Suter was only 2pts better than Zalapsky.

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#37 Lanwdemon
September 13 2011, 02:47PM
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Well done.

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#38 vetinari
September 13 2011, 02:55PM
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Be a GM: Edmonton -cannot exit "rebuild" mode -prospects to player ratio set too high at 50:1 -Khabibulin's walker obstructs his glove hand from use -trade mode tries to return players previously dealt

Be a GM: Montreal -"nostalgia" mode setting can't be turned off -media won't respond to anything other than French -goalie's names constantly appear in trade rumours if their GAA is more than 2.50; they are in their last year of contract; or the team is at any point below .500 -prospects must play a minimum of 150 AHL games before being called up, and then, must average at least a point per game or be sent down again

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#39 marty
September 13 2011, 02:56PM
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and i left out vancouver cause i FN hate them. lets get this season going. GO FLAMES GO

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#40 geoilersgist
September 13 2011, 02:57PM
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Be a GM Calgary: Any attempt at trading Iginla causes you to be fired and you must start a new season.

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#41 rubbertrout
September 13 2011, 03:43PM
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Nice work Kent. The Kessel one was my favorite.

Calgary GM -Automatically trade away any player that Jarome Iginla doesn't like/stands up to Jarome Iginla for a bag of pucks and a faceoff in the other teams end.

-Immediately sign said bag of pucks to a lucrative extension with a NTC.

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#42 fridaytheFISTEENTH
September 13 2011, 03:44PM
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well GM in vancouver is responsible for calling out the officials when the team "sucks the hind banana"

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#43 CopperNSmyth
September 13 2011, 03:54PM
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BOSTON GM feature

-pressing up, down, up, left, select turns Tim Thomas into Subzero from the running man, who uses his serated edge goalie stick to hack everyone’s legs off at the knees, thus bringing every player down to Marty St Louis’s eye level

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#44 Dog Train
September 13 2011, 03:56PM
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This date totally snuck up on me. I just might have to go out and get myself a copy today.

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#45 Vintage Flame
September 13 2011, 04:11PM
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@RexLibris

"Does anyone know if they've added the "riot" patch for Vancouver?"

That was hilarious!! Too funny

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#46 Tach
September 13 2011, 08:54PM
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Los Angeles

Any time you are negotiating with an RFA an arbitration decision on a comparable player will cause him to make unreasonable demands and hold out through training camp.

Florida

Any time your team is below the salary cap floor on July 1st the computer will randomly sign players at double their market value and double the reasonable term.

Philadelphia

All goalies signed for double market value, and automatically lose half of overall rating once season starts.

Dry Island mode - any player over 24 with more than 50 points has too much fun and must be traded.

New Jersey

Lamoriello Mode - Any time team exceeds salary cap at start of training camp, select one player to visit a doctor of dubious ethics who will declare him LTIR eligible.

New York Rangers

Top 3 UFAs each year tendered offers at double market value - but all may be assigned to minors at any contract value.

Colorado

Late season budget cut mode - in last 25 games of the season, all offers that lower salary paid this season or next are accepted.

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#47 Eulers
September 13 2011, 11:49PM
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@Rain Dogs

"Flames GM:

Every time you make a trade Olli Jokinen is added on. When he's on your roster he goes out, when you try and fill the hole, he comes back with the other players as well."

LMAO!!

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#48 Vincent
September 14 2011, 08:37AM
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Be a GM Montreal:

-PK Subban couldn't skate Forward and only hit with his back.

-Andrei Markov only play 7 games in a season, he always get a knee injury.

-Hal Gill couln'd skate faster than any other player

-Its impossible to make more than 1 goal in 2 weeks for Andrei Kostitsyn

-You couln'd trade Jroslav Spacek and he will never retire

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#49 Remer
September 14 2011, 09:00AM
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Islanders : Dipietro must at least injured twice a season.

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#50 Eric
September 14 2011, 09:12AM
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Hilarious!

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