It's Time For The Bodyslam

Cam Davie
April 22 2011 02:38PM


It's time for the Canucks to be David and conquer Goliath once and for all.

The Vancouver Canucks were embarrased out of Rogers Arena last night after another dismal effort. In four straight periods, between the start of the 2nd period of Game 4 and the end of the 2nd period in Game 5, the Canucks were outscored 11-1.

As a result... this morning, I had the following conversation on BBM with my friend. Needless to say, neither of us were happy.

*****

Steve: I hate Luongo.  I hate the Sedins.  I hate the Canucks.  I hate you. I hate my kids. I hate life.

Cam: I hate myself. I hate ice. I hate hockey. I hate sunshine.

Steve: I have tix to game 7.  There is zero chance I am going to that game, which the nucks will lose.  I already bet Jason $10 that the Hawks win in 7.

Steve: I quit.  I quit cheering. I quit hockey pools. I quit eating. I quit breathing.

Cam: I quit writing. I quit laughing. I quit enjoying life.

Steve: I quit touching myself. I quit blinking. I quit moving.

Cam: I quit seeing colours. I quit talking. I quit. I quit quitting.

*****

Ok, so neither of us were obviously serious. But we were both pretty disillusioned after last night's shocking effort (or lack thereof). You really have to wonder why the Canucks would lack such motivation, such effort in such a pivotal game.

Hard to say but there it was. For all of us to watch in disbelief, in frustration. As I said to Kent Wilson, I felt like I was  watching a family member die from a terminal illness, while his life-saving meds are on his nightside table. And all the while, the evil Nurse Ratched is pushing the meds one inch further out of his reach and laughing while she does it.

You have to hope that the Canucks, after being ragdolled for two straight games and left bloodied and bruised, will pick themselves up off the mat and kick their tormenting bully right in the balls. Someone on this team has to get this group going. Be it Luongo, or the captain Henrik, or Kesler, or coach Vigneault. SOMEONE has to start the rallying cry to turn this battle around. Because right now, the Canucks are inching ever so close to being pinned... again.

In the third installment of this playoff matchup, I harken back to another famous third installment - Wrestlemania III. It's time for our Canucks - our Hulk Hogan, our champions of the regular season - to finally pick up their Andre the Giant and give their fans what they've been waiting for. The bodyslam of a lifetime.

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Cam was born in Greater Vancouver, raised in Greater Vancouver, and lives in Greater Vancouver. So, yes, he's from Vancouver. He attended his first Vancouver Canucks game on Dec 26th, 1980 and has bled orange/black/red/blue+green ever since. You can reach him on Twitter @tinfoiltuque or on e-mail at tinfoiltuque(at)gmail(dot)com.
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#1 OilFan
April 22 2011, 03:42PM
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@ Cam

Classic Hulk Hogan hahaha. Can't wait for game 6, I just hope that game isn't a blow out by either team.

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#2 jake
April 22 2011, 04:08PM
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Andre agreed to let HH take the title. This hockey series is not scripted, although is an interesting looking sequel.

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#3 Jonathan Willis
April 22 2011, 05:24PM
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The 'Hawks, for all their impressiveness, are only half way there.

Of course that's a lot closer than they were two games ago.

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