November 28 2011 01:25PM
This dog is angry! And so am I.
Luckily my teeth are straighter than his. Only slightly, though.
Photo found at VSA Stories
Today I continue my weekly feature of me venting and raging on stupid crap happening with the Canucks, their fans and around the NHL. Two things about feature... 1) It will appear (hopefully) every Monday, and 2) It is blatantly ripped off from a stand-up bit from comedian Craig Anton. On either point, I make no apologies. Enjoy. Or don't.
In this week's edition, I shake my head at Patch, whine about Joe and his whiny whining, and yell at NBC and Matt Lauer to learn a team's damn name!
You know what I hate?! Any excuse Max Pacioretty gives for that stupid headshot on Kris Letang. You would think that someone whose head and neck were almost separated from his body by Zdeno Chara would be a little more aware of players' noggins and trying NOT to peel someone's nose from their face. It was a gross hit, a dirty hit, and one that deserves a suspension. C'mon, Patch. What the hell were you thinking?!
You know what I hate?! The Sharks are big-league whiners, and very specifically, Joe Thornton is a big-league whiner. For as much as the Canucks are labeled whiners and complainers, the San Jose Sharks are ACTUALLY whiners and complainers. Joe Thornton had the gall to say that he "barely touched" Alex Burrows when he slashed Burr during the Sharks/Canucks game Saturday night. The slash drew blood, for crying out loud! So, Joe... did Burr bite his own hand to open up a cut? Did he do it WWE-style and cut himself with concealed razor blades? And let's remember Jumbo that you hacked and slashed and high-sticked your way through that entire game. But the CANUCKS are the whiners. Got it. Thanks Joe. And no, I'm saying the Canucks are whiners, divers and cheaters. I'm saying that Joe Thornton is a sour-puss baby.
You know what I hate?! Nobody at NBC gives a sweet hot damn about the NHL, yet they continue to promote it. C'mon dummies. Get it right! NBC has committed $2 billion to the NHL for broadcasting rights over the next 10 years, they're going to rebrand Versus into "NBC Sports" (or something close to that), they promote a Friday afternoon game between the Bruins and Red Wings during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and Matt Lauer goes and calls them the "Boston Brewers". Are you kidding?! I know that they majoriy of Americans don't follow or care about hockey. But NBC - you are promoting your own property, and a game that features the league's reigning champion and Matt f*&%ing Lauer can't even get the champions NAME right?! "NBC Hockey - Yeah we don't care either!".
You know what I hate?! Giving Bruce Boudreau the boot in Washington when the biggest problem lately has clearly been the goaltending. Courtesy of Corey Pronman, the Capitals Fenwick is 5th in the NHL and their goalies are saving only 89.3% of their shots. In other words, the Capitals are getting plenty of chances offensively, but their goalies are crapping the bed. Even if you think that Boudreau lost the dressing room, the biggest problem is between the pipes. So why fire Boudreau? Is it change for the sake of change? Probably. Because it's a hell of lot easier to fire a coach than it is to trade a shaky goaltender. Want some proof that a new coach can make a difference? The Blues are now 7-1-2 since Ken Hitchcock took over. That said, Brian Elliott is playing a HELL of a lot better than any netminder in Washington. Goalies make a HUGE difference - just ask Alain Vigneault.
You know what I hate?! Stupid Sidney Crosby and his stupid return from a stupid concussion and having a stupid awesome week and a stupid ridiculous season debut. Why am I mad at this? Because if not for his triumphant return, the Canucks' Cory Schneider would have been the NHL's FIRST star of the week. Instead, Ginger Bricks has to settle for the week's second star, as Crosby decided to be god-like. Stupid Crosby and his unmatchable ability to change a game all on his own.