STARS THRU THE AGES
Wanye
October 09 2011 12:01PM
It`s the best day of the season when you are cheering for the 30th place team two years running. The Oilers enter the game undefeated. Tom Gilbert is as good as anyone on paper. Memories of last season`s opener echo in our minds and hearts.
Not only is it game day bitches, but it is also time to talk the 2011-12 Stars on the Oil.
STARS THRU THE AGES
It has been a long and tortured path for your ol`pal Wanye when it comes to picking stars on the Oilers every year. Don`t believe us? Take a look:
2005-06: Chris Pronger (that went well until that thing at the end of the season which caused us to cry tears of rage)
2006-07: Ryan Smyth (traded at during the season, caused a grief so strong OilersNation.com was born and caused us to cry tears of bitter disbelief)
2007-08: Shawn Horcoff (lit the lamp like crazy, got hurt, caused us to cry tears of revenge for the ultra violent 2008 All Star game)
2008-09: Erik Cole (played like crap, demanded to go back to Carolina, caused us to cry tears of shock as Brownlee called the trade like months in advance)
2009-10: Mike Comrie (led the league in preseason scoring, spent majority of the year on the shelf, signed elsewhere in the offseason causing us to cry tears of – er no, this actually wasn’t that bad)
2010-11: Jordan Eberle (was awesome right out of the gate as an NHL rookie scoring a goal in Game 1 that was so sick our hair stood on end and caused us to cry tears of redemptive joy)
It was only the wise selection of young Jordan Eberle as our star - though he had not appeared in a single NHL game when we made the call - that has redeemed 5 years of heart ache on the star front. And even though our favorite modern Oiler of all time has returned to the lineup we are calling the following audible:
2011-12 STAR: JORDAN EBERLE
But seriously.
You think this Jordan Eberle fan worship business is a joke? You think we squee all over hells half acre only to punt him aside when our hero Ryan Smyth comes home? Shame on you. We are far more loyal than that.
As seen above in a crudely drawn artist`s impression we would imagine that this honor inspires Eberle to the point he pots another jim dandy of a season opening goal tonight. We will be in attendance in our finest Eberle attire, smashing Rexall "Beers" and dancing about wildly.
And whom do you pick?
FIST GAME OF THE YEAR!!
SQQUUUUEEEEEEEEEE
FIIIIIIISTTTT
FIST FIST FIST**
** is what i would say if my brother Stone hands wasn't on top of sh^t around here!
***SQUEEEEEEEE
I ALSO LIKE TO PARTY
That's the sound of Eberle, fist-pumping highlight reel goal 2011-2012
IM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!
SQUEEEEEEEEEE
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I will pick Devan Dubnyk. He will lead this team of misfits to victory on many of occasion this fine season.
GAMEDAY, BITCHES. Is it wrong that Eberle is so lovable? Maybe it's these COPPER AND BLUE SUNGLASSES. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ill take Smyth for you Wanye. By the way this is me starting to post on the Nation ;) Couldn't use the other name as i couldn't remember my password
Sam Gagner
This is his year, once he decides Anton Lander has had enough of the NHL he will walk down from the press box and play on a line with Hemsky and Hall. Pushing RNH down a line so he can eat the lesser competition alive and he'll even drive Lander to the airport cuz hes a good guy.
He's in his 5th pro season at the ripe old age of 22 and its a contract year. This guy is going to take his offense to the next level. Even missing the first week or two I still think he's good for point totals in the mid 50's. Once Hemsky is traded at the deadline the team will move him to the wing and elevate RNH, but the move will be beneficial for everyone.
oilers 7 penquins 2.hall gets 2 goals,eberle nets hat trick and hemsky and smyth each get a goal,hopkins gets 3 assists,dubnyk has a great game and everyone is happy.squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@Wanye
Have you been up partying since Friday? i'm pretty sure you have been watching this Rick Ross video for a week straight. lol
I will counter with a resounding vote for Sam Gagner (Please note grammatically correct spelling for future reference > G.A.G.N.E.R.) as my star.
He will crush the hearts of all Gagner-haters and crest 60 points this year. And when he does, I will take great pleasure in repeatedly mentioning that fact in every "Trade Gagner" 300 comment blog post.
Every. Single. One.
#LikeABoss
Also, Wanye your MS Paint pics are freakin' awesome!
Couldn't agree more. He is underrated and will finally start to get talked about as a very good goalie and one with great promise for many years to come. Let's go Oilers!!!
Nikolai Khabibulin. Believe 'dat.
This year The Bulin Wall, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff, and Amy Winehouse make big comebacks, prompting us to wonder how high their star might've risen if it weren't for their terrible afflictions.
By "Star" Khabbi will post a satisfactory .912, earning the go-to guy moniker as we stay in contention for a playoff spot until St. Patricks day. Then the wheels will fall off and our Spring Reward will be Matt Dumba.
I too will also be in attendance tonight. But first I'm going to drink The Pint dry. One table keg already down......
@John Chambers
Psst... Amy Winehouse passed away*
As for my star, I was originally thinking of picking Barker as my darkhorse but I think I have to agree with Arch and David S on this one and go with Gagner.
This is his year to prove the haters wrong!
Also a couple important notes to share;
1) ITS GAME DAY BITCHES!!!!
2) SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!
3) BOOBS!!!!!
My Star for this year is the love child of Ted Nugent and Anthony Hopkins......RNH with 60 points!!!!!!!!!!!
My gameday prediction is Wanye will consume 11 Rexall Beers and purchase all the Eberle swag he can get his robotic hands on!.
Oilers 4 Penguins 2
I pick Hall as one of the obvious choices for star.
And Barker for goat. (even though I hope he does well). I just couldn't take the obvious pick of Khabibulin. (you have one large set Mr. Chambers sir to pick him as your star)
Looks like you were the first guy to order up at the Pint today. Ha!
I'm hoping for your sake there's a shiny new bucket and a wide-screen TV set up for you in the
Royal Alec emergency wardEPS drunk tank.Best of luck to you and Cory! Try not to get lost in north Edmonton this time.
@Skidplate
Its like picking a longshot horse: if you're right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.
If I'm wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I'm sure I'll get asked: "Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?", at which time I'll respond "Why yes. Yes I was."
@Skidplate
Its like picking a longshot horse: if you're right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.
If I'm wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I'm sure I'll get asked: "Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?", at which time I'll respond "Why yes. Yes I was."
Jordan Eberle! FTW!
Who is at the pint now and who will be there before the game? I'm thinking of going for a few drinks before leaving for the game
All props for sqeeing right out of the comment box!
Best. Squee. Ever.
GAME DAY B!TCHES!!!!!!!
On my profile, my star says Eberle. And I believe it. however I am changing and going with the obvious: TFH
That is correct. Taylor Freakin' Hall!
I know, how can you get so obvious. But it is TFH!
@Travis Dakin
I'm still afraid of our future chugging competition, I figure we shoudl have it when Oilersnation has an event!
Comrie led the preseason in scoring, and continues to lead every MAN in scoring! You are my IDOL, Mike!
Eberle for sure, if I had money I'd put it on him. Maybe Wanye will let me turn in some of those bottles laying about willy nilly on his floor so that I can bet monies on Ebs.
Hockey on the rise in Edmonton and we finally have a team back in Peg to build a WHA/NHL rivalry back up again. I just wish they would wear WHA jerseys when they played each other. And fight for the AVCO cup if they met in any round of the playoffs. It would be freaking awesome if all the stars fell in to place and they met in the final!
Tix to the game: $250. Seeing that your team isn't in last place? PRICELESS!!!!!!
My "star" is Doobie
OH YEAH ITS GAME DAY BITCHES
five syllable SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Edit: My Squee goes out the comments box too, cool huh?
Taylor Hall is my star for 2011-2012 just like he will be my star for 2021-2022 when he's gunning for his 3rd cup and wearing the 'C'.
Jordan Eberle is my star! He will be the first Oiler to score tonight!
Star: MPS
Reason: It's time for this league to get Paarjarvi'd!
Oiler's Tag Line: You just Svensson'd b*tches! Paarjarvi Svenssoned!
Sam Gagner won't lead the team in any category, but he's going to remind people why they all bought his jersey in 2007-08.
No need to be afraid. EVERYBODY wins in a chugging competition. Haha
I love that pic of Eberle with the reporters.
"Just spell my name right when you're describing my highlight reel beauts, bitches. That's all you need to know."
They should make Eberle teddy bears. He's adorable. Wanye, get on that!
And, yes, it is, indeed...
GAME DAY, BITCHEZ!!
*Presidentially Pumped*
Hall.
That is all.
My star is Hall. He is the franchise.
I just hope he isn't traded to Calgary in exchange for provincial funding for the down town arena project.*
* If you think this sounds crazy and paranoid: you haven't been an Oiler fan for as long as me.
Star shall be Hemmer. First 82 game season. Extends for Christmas. 100 Points overall. Oilers win the cup.
I love October Optimism.
GO Oilers!!!!
Hall for Premier, Prime Minister and Overlord
Maybe I should change my vote to Lennart Petrell. (Anyone who rocks a golden mullet into the NHL is obviously a star!)
Eberle is a safe pick. My star is Magnus freaking Paajarvi, the forgotten man.
deck the hall (of fame) with hall
Barker is my goat
Star will be Devan Dubnyk
Gord, love your haikus
*we can comment on pollz*
Smyth, man I wanna pick him. Taylor Hall, he will know doubt be a star, but we all know that. The reason wre watch playoff hockey this year, the reason I drive to Edmonton and drive home deaf and hungover worse than that movie "The Hangover" is because of DD, Devan Dubnyk!!!! That is all!!! Now lets play already!
Taydan Eberall for king of Canada! Squeeeeeee!
I would be inclined to agree, but he hasn't exactly shown good chemistry with his center for tonight - Horcs. I hope Lander gets some time between MPS and O!.
Hemsky