STARS THRU THE AGES

Wanye
October 09 2011 12:01PM

It`s the best day of the season when you are cheering for the 30th place team two years running. The Oilers enter the game undefeated. Tom Gilbert is as good as anyone on paper. Memories of last season`s opener echo in our minds and hearts.

Not only is it game day bitches, but it is also time to talk the 2011-12 Stars on the Oil.

STARS THRU THE AGES

It has been a long and tortured path for your ol`pal Wanye when it comes to picking stars on the Oilers every year. Don`t believe us? Take a look:

2005-06: Chris Pronger (that went well until that thing at the end of the season which caused us to cry tears of rage)

2006-07: Ryan Smyth (traded at during the season, caused a grief so strong OilersNation.com was born and caused us to cry tears of bitter disbelief)

2007-08: Shawn Horcoff (lit the lamp like crazy, got hurt, caused us to cry tears of revenge for the ultra violent 2008 All Star game)

 

2008-09: Erik Cole (played like crap, demanded to go back to Carolina, caused us to cry tears of shock as Brownlee called the trade like months in advance)

 

2009-10: Mike Comrie (led the league in preseason scoring, spent majority of the year on the shelf, signed elsewhere in the offseason causing us to cry tears of – er no, this actually wasn’t that bad)

 

2010-11: Jordan Eberle (was awesome right out of the gate as an NHL rookie scoring a goal in Game 1 that was so sick our hair stood on end and caused us to cry tears of redemptive joy)

It was only the wise selection of young Jordan Eberle as our star - though he had not appeared in a single NHL game when we made the call - that has redeemed 5 years of heart ache on the star front. And even though our favorite modern Oiler of all time has returned to the lineup we are calling the following audible:

2011-12 STAR: JORDAN EBERLE

But seriously.

You think this Jordan Eberle fan worship business is a joke? You think we squee all over hells half acre only to punt him aside when our hero Ryan Smyth comes home? Shame on you. We are far more loyal than that.

As seen above in a crudely drawn artist`s impression we would imagine that this honor inspires Eberle to the point he pots another jim dandy of a season opening goal tonight. We will be in attendance in our finest Eberle attire, smashing Rexall "Beers" and dancing about wildly.

And whom do you pick?

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Stone Hands McOsta
October 09 2011, 12:02PM
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FIST GAME OF THE YEAR!!

SQQUUUUEEEEEEEEEE

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#2 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
October 09 2011, 12:03PM
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FIIIIIIISTTTT

FIST FIST FIST**

** is what i would say if my brother Stone hands wasn't on top of sh^t around here!

***SQUEEEEEEEE

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#4 Big Perm
October 09 2011, 12:05PM
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Stone Hands McOsta wrote:

FIST GAME OF THE YEAR!!

SQQUUUUEEEEEEEEEE

That's the sound of Eberle, fist-pumping highlight reel goal 2011-2012

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#5 Soft Hands McSteeley - FIST Movement
October 09 2011, 12:07PM
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IM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!

SQUEEEEEEEEEE

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#6 Brandon
October 09 2011, 12:09PM
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I will pick Devan Dubnyk. He will lead this team of misfits to victory on many of occasion this fine season.

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#7 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
October 09 2011, 12:12PM
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GAMEDAY, BITCHES. Is it wrong that Eberle is so lovable? Maybe it's these COPPER AND BLUE SUNGLASSES. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#8 Golffun420
October 09 2011, 12:13PM
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Ill take Smyth for you Wanye. By the way this is me starting to post on the Nation ;) Couldn't use the other name as i couldn't remember my password

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#9 Matt Henderson
October 09 2011, 12:14PM
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Sam Gagner

This is his year, once he decides Anton Lander has had enough of the NHL he will walk down from the press box and play on a line with Hemsky and Hall. Pushing RNH down a line so he can eat the lesser competition alive and he'll even drive Lander to the airport cuz hes a good guy.

He's in his 5th pro season at the ripe old age of 22 and its a contract year. This guy is going to take his offense to the next level. Even missing the first week or two I still think he's good for point totals in the mid 50's. Once Hemsky is traded at the deadline the team will move him to the wing and elevate RNH, but the move will be beneficial for everyone.

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#10 rob
October 09 2011, 12:16PM
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oilers 7 penquins 2.hall gets 2 goals,eberle nets hat trick and hemsky and smyth each get a goal,hopkins gets 3 assists,dubnyk has a great game and everyone is happy.squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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#11 Golffun420
October 09 2011, 12:19PM
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@Wanye

Have you been up partying since Friday? i'm pretty sure you have been watching this Rick Ross video for a week straight. lol

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#12 David S
October 09 2011, 12:21PM
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I will counter with a resounding vote for Sam Gagner (Please note grammatically correct spelling for future reference > G.A.G.N.E.R.) as my star.

He will crush the hearts of all Gagner-haters and crest 60 points this year. And when he does, I will take great pleasure in repeatedly mentioning that fact in every "Trade Gagner" 300 comment blog post.

Every. Single. One.

#LikeABoss

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#13 David S
October 09 2011, 12:23PM
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Also, Wanye your MS Paint pics are freakin' awesome!

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#14 Krusher
October 09 2011, 12:24PM
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Brandon wrote:

I will pick Devan Dubnyk. He will lead this team of misfits to victory on many of occasion this fine season.

Couldn't agree more. He is underrated and will finally start to get talked about as a very good goalie and one with great promise for many years to come. Let's go Oilers!!!

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#15 John Chambers
October 09 2011, 12:24PM
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Nikolai Khabibulin. Believe 'dat.

This year The Bulin Wall, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff, and Amy Winehouse make big comebacks, prompting us to wonder how high their star might've risen if it weren't for their terrible afflictions.

By "Star" Khabbi will post a satisfactory .912, earning the go-to guy moniker as we stay in contention for a playoff spot until St. Patricks day. Then the wheels will fall off and our Spring Reward will be Matt Dumba.

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#16 Travis Dakin
October 09 2011, 12:27PM
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I too will also be in attendance tonight. But first I'm going to drink The Pint dry. One table keg already down......

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#17 Wanyes bastard child
October 09 2011, 12:29PM
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@John Chambers

Psst... Amy Winehouse passed away*

As for my star, I was originally thinking of picking Barker as my darkhorse but I think I have to agree with Arch and David S on this one and go with Gagner.

This is his year to prove the haters wrong!

Also a couple important notes to share;

1) ITS GAME DAY BITCHES!!!!

2) SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!

3) BOOBS!!!!!

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#18 @thesquireyeg
October 09 2011, 12:31PM
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My Star for this year is the love child of Ted Nugent and Anthony Hopkins......RNH with 60 points!!!!!!!!!!!

My gameday prediction is Wanye will consume 11 Rexall Beers and purchase all the Eberle swag he can get his robotic hands on!.

Oilers 4 Penguins 2

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#19 Skidplate
October 09 2011, 12:34PM
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I pick Hall as one of the obvious choices for star.

And Barker for goat. (even though I hope he does well). I just couldn't take the obvious pick of Khabibulin. (you have one large set Mr. Chambers sir to pick him as your star)

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#20 David S
October 09 2011, 12:38PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

I too will also be in attendance tonight. But first I'm going to drink The Pint dry. One table keg already down......

Looks like you were the first guy to order up at the Pint today. Ha!

I'm hoping for your sake there's a shiny new bucket and a wide-screen TV set up for you in the Royal Alec emergency ward EPS drunk tank.

Best of luck to you and Cory! Try not to get lost in north Edmonton this time.

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#21 John Chambers
October 09 2011, 12:42PM
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@Skidplate

Its like picking a longshot horse: if you're right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.

If I'm wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I'm sure I'll get asked: "Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?", at which time I'll respond "Why yes. Yes I was."

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#22 John Chambers
October 09 2011, 12:42PM
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@Skidplate

Its like picking a longshot horse: if you're right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.

If I'm wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I'm sure I'll get asked: "Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?", at which time I'll respond "Why yes. Yes I was."

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#23 freeze
October 09 2011, 12:43PM
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Jordan Eberle! FTW!

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#24 Dustin Terpstra
October 09 2011, 12:46PM
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Who is at the pint now and who will be there before the game? I'm thinking of going for a few drinks before leaving for the game

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#25 Wax Man Riley
October 09 2011, 12:57PM
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rob wrote:

oilers 7 penquins 2.hall gets 2 goals,eberle nets hat trick and hemsky and smyth each get a goal,hopkins gets 3 assists,dubnyk has a great game and everyone is happy.squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

All props for sqeeing right out of the comment box!

Best. Squee. Ever.

GAME DAY B!TCHES!!!!!!!

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#26 Wax Man Riley
October 09 2011, 01:01PM
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On my profile, my star says Eberle. And I believe it. however I am changing and going with the obvious: TFH

That is correct. Taylor Freakin' Hall!

I know, how can you get so obvious. But it is TFH!

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#27 Tha Legion
October 09 2011, 01:27PM
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@Travis Dakin

I'm still afraid of our future chugging competition, I figure we shoudl have it when Oilersnation has an event!

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#28 justDOit
October 09 2011, 01:40PM
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Comrie led the preseason in scoring, and continues to lead every MAN in scoring! You are my IDOL, Mike!

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#29 The Beaker
October 09 2011, 01:41PM
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Eberle for sure, if I had money I'd put it on him. Maybe Wanye will let me turn in some of those bottles laying about willy nilly on his floor so that I can bet monies on Ebs.

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#30 Sheldon "Oilers Fan for Life!!!"
October 09 2011, 01:41PM
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Hockey on the rise in Edmonton and we finally have a team back in Peg to build a WHA/NHL rivalry back up again. I just wish they would wear WHA jerseys when they played each other. And fight for the AVCO cup if they met in any round of the playoffs. It would be freaking awesome if all the stars fell in to place and they met in the final!

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#31 justDOit
October 09 2011, 01:41PM
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Tix to the game: $250. Seeing that your team isn't in last place? PRICELESS!!!!!!

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#32 Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate
October 09 2011, 01:42PM
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My "star" is Doobie

OH YEAH ITS GAME DAY BITCHES

five syllable SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Edit: My Squee goes out the comments box too, cool huh?

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#33 Mike Krushelnyski
October 09 2011, 01:46PM
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Taylor Hall is my star for 2011-2012 just like he will be my star for 2021-2022 when he's gunning for his 3rd cup and wearing the 'C'.

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#34 smiliegirl15
October 09 2011, 01:56PM
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Jordan Eberle is my star! He will be the first Oiler to score tonight!

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#35 Clyde Frog
October 09 2011, 02:08PM
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Star: MPS

Reason: It's time for this league to get Paarjarvi'd!

Oiler's Tag Line: You just Svensson'd b*tches! Paarjarvi Svenssoned!

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#36 Petr's Jofa
October 09 2011, 02:10PM
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Sam Gagner won't lead the team in any category, but he's going to remind people why they all bought his jersey in 2007-08.

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#37 Travis Dakin
October 09 2011, 02:12PM
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Tha Legion wrote:

I'm still afraid of our future chugging competition, I figure we shoudl have it when Oilersnation has an event!

No need to be afraid. EVERYBODY wins in a chugging competition. Haha

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#38 Gerald R. Ford
October 09 2011, 02:16PM
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I love that pic of Eberle with the reporters.

"Just spell my name right when you're describing my highlight reel beauts, bitches. That's all you need to know."

They should make Eberle teddy bears. He's adorable. Wanye, get on that!

And, yes, it is, indeed...

GAME DAY, BITCHEZ!!

*Presidentially Pumped*

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#39 m3sh
October 09 2011, 02:22PM
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Hall.

That is all.

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#40 Chris.
October 09 2011, 02:38PM
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My star is Hall. He is the franchise.

I just hope he isn't traded to Calgary in exchange for provincial funding for the down town arena project.*

* If you think this sounds crazy and paranoid: you haven't been an Oiler fan for as long as me.

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#41 yawto
October 09 2011, 02:57PM
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Star shall be Hemmer. First 82 game season. Extends for Christmas. 100 Points overall. Oilers win the cup.

I love October Optimism.

GO Oilers!!!!

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#42 VATech
October 09 2011, 03:24PM
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Hall for Premier, Prime Minister and Overlord

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#43 Chris.
October 09 2011, 03:35PM
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Maybe I should change my vote to Lennart Petrell. (Anyone who rocks a golden mullet into the NHL is obviously a star!)

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#44 Dog Train
October 09 2011, 03:35PM
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Eberle is a safe pick. My star is Magnus freaking Paajarvi, the forgotten man.

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#45 sizedoesmatter
October 09 2011, 03:45PM
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deck the hall (of fame) with hall

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#46 Pajamah
October 09 2011, 04:20PM
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Barker is my goat

Star will be Devan Dubnyk

Gord, love your haikus

*we can comment on pollz*

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#47 Milli
October 09 2011, 04:24PM
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Smyth, man I wanna pick him. Taylor Hall, he will know doubt be a star, but we all know that. The reason wre watch playoff hockey this year, the reason I drive to Edmonton and drive home deaf and hungover worse than that movie "The Hangover" is because of DD, Devan Dubnyk!!!! That is all!!! Now lets play already!

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#48 Cranky young guy
October 09 2011, 04:37PM
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Taydan Eberall for king of Canada! Squeeeeeee!

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#49 justDOit
October 09 2011, 04:49PM
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Clyde Frog wrote:

Star: MPS

Reason: It's time for this league to get Paarjarvi'd!

Oiler's Tag Line: You just Svensson'd b*tches! Paarjarvi Svenssoned!

I would be inclined to agree, but he hasn't exactly shown good chemistry with his center for tonight - Horcs. I hope Lander gets some time between MPS and O!.

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#50 Hemmertime
October 09 2011, 04:52PM
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Hemsky

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