OCCD4: NO LOVE

Wanye
February 16 2010 12:25AM

 

 

Look at this poor bastard will you? And on Valentine’s Day to boot. Now pretend we are the woman in the clip. Yeah, look at our bouncy brown hair and royal blue Jersey. We’re damn sexy. We don’t need no mans proposing to us at no Rangers game. Who does he think he is anyway? We know damn well where he was last night. He couldn’t have been out with his brother because we saw a picture of his brother on facebook this morning and it was tagged as being last night and th-

Heh.

*awkward pause*

Ahem. Let's pretend we are the girl and pretend the man asking us to marry him is the World’s most ecologically friendly Zamboni currently showcased at the Olympic games. If that POS asked us to marry it, we would make like this lady and book it out of the arena. Cause the World’s most ecologically friendly Zamboni is a big piece of crap and broke down for the second day in a row at the Speed Skating Venue.

And before you start telling us that this is an ice surfacing machine and that Zamboni is a brand name and that this is actually an Olympia ice resurfacer – just stow it. Stow it, or so help us we will get up and walk out on you at that Rangers game we are going to together on Valentine’s Day.

HIPPIE WAGON CONKS OUT

It should come as a slap in the face to the eco-friendly Zamboni industry to see their sales showpiece for the next decade has broken down twice in the first three days of the Olympics. Often times with new technologies there are a great many bugs to iron out and you can do little more than cross your fingers for the first few models going out the door.

Somebody somewhere wherever this thing was built must have been pumped to get this Zamboni into the games and rubbed their hands greedily together expecting the world wide orders to pour in.

Two breakdowns in two days and an ice surface that resembles Callingwood Outdoor rink in Late April and you can think again. We can only imagine the party among the Zamboni salesmen run on natural gas and heavy crude Oil are having a field day when they read statements like this on the CTV website: "I realize they wanted to make a green Games ... but Zambonis in the past have worked for years and years and years." At least every news agency isn’t reporting it’s green angle – maybe just CTV will hammer on the point over and over again.

And an interesting question was answered in the ensuing official pants pissing contest.

Q: What is more intense than 45 minutes of speed skating?

A: 45 minutes of watching angry speed skating delegates yelling at BC building managers and alarmed Olympic officials who haven't seen an emergency of this magnitude in years. Postponement of the event you say? Sacrilege Sir!

SO MANY CHANNELS

This Canadian Olympic Media consortium is something isn’t it? The Games are on 146 different channels including The Outdoor Network as we saw today about 0.124 seconds before our mind was blown. The Outdoor Network too? Is there anyone who hasn’t been caught up in Olympic fever? Ok, anyone other than Dale Begg-Smith?

By the ghost of Tetjana Huefner of Germany, there is something unholy about Sportsnet telling me to go to TSN to see an event.

It ain’t right.

OH GENE

Speaking of Sportsnet, even your ol’ pal Wanye with our heart of stone enjoyed Gene Principe interviewing Sidney Crosby on CTV last night. Poor Gene has to lob softball questions at the Oilers night after night, when what they need most is battery acid tossed in their direction. We don't really think much about what a crappy job it must be to interview some of these smug bastards night after night, watching them mail it in and then cash their enourmous cheques.

But Gene's pleasant demeanour with Crosby was right positively heart warming and just what was needed for the situation. And when he asked Crosby if “he thought he would sleep well tonight?” Well, we thought of how well Gene would sleep fondly remembering interviewing Sidney Crosby and thought to ourselves “yes, yes. Things are going to turn out fine."

When Principe doesn’t have the joy left in him to continue to do this night after night then there will be a problem. But not now, not today. Well done you old lug. It can’t be fun covering these Oilers day after day and the fact you aren't beaten down is a testament to the rest of us.

Enjoy yourself covering some real hockey Gene, you've earned it.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 JackBauer
February 16 2010, 12:37AM
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It warmed my heart to no end to see the Olympics pre-empted for the Daytona 500. Take that over hyped, over commercialized, Olympic coverage.

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#2 Colin
February 16 2010, 06:40AM
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JackBauer wrote:

It warmed my heart to no end to see the Olympics pre-empted for the Daytona 500. Take that over hyped, over commercialized, Olympic coverage.

That's funny lol!

I hope you're being intentionally ironic.

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#3 Max Powers - Team HME Evans
February 16 2010, 08:00AM
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Gene has been one of the few bright spots for this organization this year. That says a lot to how bad this year has been.

"SO the Oil really suck this year" - Flames fan in your office

"Yeah, well at least our color commentator has come up with some elite level puns" - Embarassed Oilers fan

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#4 David S
February 16 2010, 08:26AM
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I was watching a game last week and Gene was doing (his version of anyway) the play-by-play. You know what? It may not have been the best play description, but you could tell he really LOVES the Oilers. Nice to hear some positivity when you know almost none exists any more.

I guess its the professional thing for media to have a neutral stance, but damn if it didn't sound good to have a real fan calling the game.

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#6 RLH
February 16 2010, 08:40AM
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We had the Olympics pre-empted by the Westminster Kennel Club dog show last night. I cried a little bit on the outside.

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#8 HOFFFF
February 16 2010, 09:08AM
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JackBauer wrote:

It warmed my heart to no end to see the Olympics pre-empted for the Daytona 500. Take that over hyped, over commercialized, Olympic coverage.

Silly Americans....Micheal J Fox's Mom will not be impressed with that.

http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Classic-mix-up-NBC-confuses-Terry-Fox-and-Micha?urn=oly,219520

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#9 David S
February 16 2010, 09:24AM
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RLH wrote:

We had the Olympics pre-empted by the Westminster Kennel Club dog show last night. I cried a little bit on the outside.

On the upside, Canadian dogs probably won more medals.

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#10 JackBauer
February 16 2010, 02:27PM
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Colin wrote:

That's funny lol!

I hope you're being intentionally ironic.

I was indeed :)

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#11 Archaeologuy
February 16 2010, 03:17PM
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HOFFFF wrote:

Silly Americans....Micheal J Fox's Mom will not be impressed with that.

http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Classic-mix-up-NBC-confuses-Terry-Fox-and-Micha?urn=oly,219520

Wow. Just Wow.

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#12 Chris
February 16 2010, 04:27PM
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Another gold medal for the good guys! Maelle Ricker in Women's Snowboard Cross.

We need to do one of two things. Either move EVERY event to Cypress or have Jamie Campbell commentate EVERY single sport. Cause we are clutch when we're there or he's telling us what's going on.

Cypress + Jamie Campbell = 2 gold, 2 silver

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