LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Wanye
February 12 2010 02:42PM

We will lead off by saying that we get excited about the Olympics. A 13 year old girl at a Justin Bieber autograph signing type excited. So you will have to take us with a grain of salt once the games kick get underway as we post 12,789 gushing comments like “Aren’t the Canadian Mens’ two man bobsled team the BOMB? Can you believe that Lyndon Rush won’t sled with Pierre Lueders anymore? What’s up with that?

Most people are going into these games with the attitude of “Olympic hockey is the only thing that matters and don’t waste my time with anything else.” We can respect the fact that the Ice Hockey is numbero uno prioritato at these here games and we can guarantee that you can get your Olympic Hockey fix right here provided you are cheering on the home team.

And while the 3 Nations are temporarily coming together for a common cause, it in no way means that we have anything in common with that TLP – who we might add is an American and probably holds out some sort of weird hope that Ron Wilson can Coach the Red White and Blue to a fourth place finish.

FAT CHANCE

Cheering for Team Canada is going to be a damn sight better than the status quo up here in Edmonton, which has consisted lately of 12,789 articles about “who gets traded when and for what” and researching “all time losses in a row.” In fact it might be difficult for us to get our collective Oilers loving heads around cheering for hockey that matters again, but we are going to give it a shot.

Plus, there isn’t a single Oiler on Team Canada, which will give all of us pain stricken Oilers fans a two week break from having our hearts kicked in by the same old suspects on a nightly basis without being a turncoat and cheering for a different team. It’s basically one of the first win-win scenarios we have seen here in awhile.

To kick off the Olympic fun, we are going to give you a quick breakdown of some Olympic Hockey Biz. Let’s start getting our heads in the game Nations.

OLYMPIC BREAKDOWN

Remember the 2006 games in Turin? Wasn’t that just the worst thing that ever happened ever? For the thousands of four year old Nation readers out there who may not remember the last Olympics and might think that the greatest hockey country in the world finished respectably, think again.

Final Standings – 2006 Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey

1. Sweden (Gold)

2. Finland (Silver)

3. Czech Republic (Bronze)

4. Russia

5. Slovakia

6. Switzerland

7. Canada

8. United States

9. Kazakhstan

10. Germany

11. Italy

12. Latvia

You might look at the top of the standings and ask yourself “Gee whiz, where’s the Canadian team? I could swear we sent all our best players over to Italy to play…” Look down the ladder. Waaaaay down there to 7th place. Yep, that’s right. 2 spots ahead of the birth place of Borat sits the Canadian team. Small consolation that we finished ahead of the Americans when you let the Swiss finish ahead of you in the standings.

Ugh. The Swiss.

PAYBACK

You have to think that the Canadians – and the Americans for that matter – are looking for sweet, sweet revenge at these here Olympic Games. Before we start pumping ourselves up about the new roster, we thought we would take a look back at the roster that screwed the pooch back in ’06 and see who is returning to dispense some West Coast Payback on our collective behalf.

2006 Olympic roster

G Martin Brodeur (back)

G Roberto Luongo (back)

G Marty Turco (gonzo)

D Rob Blake (A) (gonzo)

D Jay Bouwmeester (gonzo)

D Adam Foote (gonzo)

D Bryan McCabe (gonzo)

D Chris Pronger (A) (back)

D Wade Redden (gonzo)

D Robyn Regehr (gonzo)

F Todd Bertuzzi (gonzo)

F Shane Doan (gonzo)

F Kris Draper (gonzo)

F Simon Gagné (gonzo)

F Dany Heatley (back)

F Jarome Iginla (back)

F Vincent Lecavalier (gonzo)

F Rick Nash (back)

F Brad Richards (gonzo)

F Joe Sakic (C) (gonzo)

F Ryan Smyth (gonzo)

F Martin St. Louis (gonzo)

F Joe Thornton (back)

Reserves

Dan Boyle (back)

Jason Spezza (gonzo)

Eric Staal (back)

Oh man, it is no small wonder that the Canadians did so crappy in 2006? Do you see who some of these players are? Kris Draper? Todd Bertuzzi? Bryan McCabe? Har har har har har!

*wipes eyes, blows nose*

That’s good stuff. Let’s look more in depth at the changes to the squad.

GOALTENDING

Turco is out, Fleury is in and this will be Brodeur’s squad to lead onto the ice in Van City. Nothing too crazy here we don’t think. Turco is getting a bit long in the tooth and MAF has won a Cup and theoretically has what it takes to win big games. We would clearly consider this Brodeur’s squad though and Fleury is in charge of sitting in the stands near the bench, looking as cool as he can muster and telling girls in the bar that he is “an Olympic gold medalist in training.”

DEFENSIVE CORPS

Amazingly, only one defenseman from 2006 is returning to the Olympic Team; world famous baby daddy Chris F.U. Pronger. Technically Niedermayer was on the 2006 squadron too, but an injury took him out of the lineup and threw McCabe in. The idea that some of these players were the best defenseman that the 2006 Edition of Canada could produce is a tad alarming.

This 2010 edition being iced is certainly a superior squad, younger, tougher and much more sexy with the deletion of Adam Foote. Some of the ‘06 defensemen led to a hearty round of laughter and table smashing here at OilersNation HQ. McCabe? Redden? Please, our sides are hurting. Wade Redden couldn’t be loved less in NY and McCabe has gone to Florida where NHL’ers retire 4 years before they actually leave the league.

FORWARDS

10 forwards aren’t coming back from last Olympics and that is just A-OK from where we sit. This is certainly a new squad, let’s hope there is going to be a different result. We are pumped beyond belief to see the Corey Perrys the Ryan Getzlafs of the world in a Team Canada Jersey. Finally we too can cheer for some players that have been sticking it to the Oil for what seems like hundreds of years without guilt of abandoning the home squad.

Ladies and Gentlemen – your 2010 Olympic Roster

G Martin Brodeur

G Marc-André Fleury

G Roberto Luongo

D Dan Boyle

D Drew Doughty

D Duncan Keith

D Scott Niedermayer – C

D Chris Pronger – A

D Brent Seabrook

D Shea Weber

F Patrice Bergeron

F Sidney Crosby – A

F Ryan Getzlaf

F Dany Heatley

F Jarome Iginla – A

F Patrick Marleau

F Brenden Morrow

F Rick Nash - A

F Mike Richards

F Corey Perry

F Eric Staal

F Joe Thornton

F Jonathan Toews

Reserve

F Jeff Carter

HOW WILL THEY DO?

Yes Amanda, we are number one.

We are the same guy who picks Oilers in every single hockey draft every single year regardless of how the team is actually going to look. Our 933rd place standing in the NationDraft will attest to that and so it should come as no surprise that we are going to pick Canada to win Gold. But unlike picking Comrie to outscore Bobby Ryan (which we also did) we think that the Canadians actually will win Gold, picking with our brains over our hearts.

Predicato del resultat:

1. Canada (Gold)

2. Russia (Silver)

3. Sweden (Bronze)

4. Finland

5. United States

6. Czech Republic

7. Slovakia

 

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#201 rubbertrout
February 13 2010, 08:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Matt Henderson wrote:

And I hadnt seen that Video of Hedger shoving her tongue down that other chick's throat before. My Olympic experience is so far one I will not forget.

WHere's that link again?

Avatar
#202 rubbertrout
February 13 2010, 08:43AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Matt Henderson wrote:

I really liked the poet they had. That was interesting.

I liked the content and I'll admit he did an OK job but the whole time I kept wondering why fatty mcneckbeard was the one they chose to be the voice that was watched by billions.

Avatar
#203 Matt Henderson
February 13 2010, 08:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@rubbertrout

That cute little Chinese girl from the Beijing games was busy, Neckbeard was the fall back plan.

Avatar
#204 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 13 2010, 08:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

I'm all for aboriginal symbolism, and I think it's great that that's what they focused on...

The one thing that really surprised me was the huge sweeping generalizations about culture and religion. That thing with the giant bear was borderline offensive. The commentators on CTV were talking about the symbolism of the black and brown bears in 'native culture'.

The whole issue of 'native culture' is inherently flawed because the term 'native' encompasses dozens of cultures, religions, languages, etc.

Avatar
#205 Bryzarro World
February 13 2010, 08:54AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Victoria

you should know... you live in the trailer right next to them...

Avatar
#206 Eric Johnson
February 13 2010, 09:05AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Matt Henderson wrote:

So are we gona have a new general Olympic talk page every day + Men's Hockey Game Day Blog?

x2

Avatar
#207 Poo Czar
February 13 2010, 09:21AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

No mention of the giant ice dildos?

And when I saw KD Lang singing, my first thought was that Roy Orbison was looking pretty good these days.

Avatar
#208 Pajamah
February 13 2010, 09:28AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Fire Mike Babcock Now F@&k?

*looks around, unsure of himself*

Avatar
#209 DevoKnows
February 13 2010, 09:48AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Wow so far this first morning of Olympics has been a bag full of technical difficulties, I sure hope things get rectified. Its looking a "little bush" right now

Avatar
#210 VK63
February 13 2010, 10:05AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

We are talking, Vancouver BC with government capital. Historically that has meant "joke".... this would be worldwide affirmation.

Roll out the welcome mat, grab the wallets and let the details work themselves out.

Avatar
#211 BigE57
February 13 2010, 10:42AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
VK63 wrote:

We are talking, Vancouver BC with government capital. Historically that has meant "joke".... this would be worldwide affirmation.

Roll out the welcome mat, grab the wallets and let the details work themselves out.

Really the Olympic events and the broadcasts are going to be sub-par without good old Ron McLean at the helm. No disrespect to Brian Williams but nobody mixes sport, culture and current events like Ron.

Avatar
#212 BigE57
February 13 2010, 10:43AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

I should add. The Vancouver BC involvement is just icing on the cake.

Avatar
#213 Lofty
February 13 2010, 10:44AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Harlie wrote:

Nope. A GMC Sierra with a single cab and three dudes crammed in the truck cab while Gretzky froze his ass off getting rained on while he stood in the back of the truck bed. As they moved through the streets there were drunks running along side of the truck. Looked like a cluster-F.

They should have had Semenko playing secret service agent running beside the truck bashing skulls... That would be KLASSY.

Damn southern snow storm rolled in just as the ceremony was starting and I missed the whole damn thing.

Avatar
#214 RossCreekNation
February 13 2010, 11:11AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

How Canadian was it to have planned for 4 people to light the cauldron? "We just couldn't decide, so we'll pick four." LOL.

Put my vote in - WE WANT GDB's & POSTGAME'S

p.s.(and a daily general Olympic blog would be aiite. then those who don't really care don't have to read through a bunch of comments they otherwise wouldn't)

p.p.s.(there should also be a daily hockey page aside from the Canada GDB ;-)

Avatar
#215 RossCreekNation
February 13 2010, 11:18AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

BTW, its Chris Mason of St. Louis that is on Canada's reserve list, NOT Steve Mason. - (Kevin Allen, USA Today)

Avatar
#217 RossCreekNation
February 13 2010, 12:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Wanye wrote:

We are totally going to do Olympic GDBs. We even have an awesome name for them - OGDBs.

OG Gangster Rap pictures will abound. Don't you even trip.

Do you guys really want an Olympic blog per day?

I don't per se (perhaps just an open thread for comments; it doesn't have to have any of your intellectual information). But IF people are gonna be on here throughout other events talking Oly's, some (ME) may not give a shh. HOCKEY! HOCKEY! HOCKEY!

I would like a daily hockey blog and a Canadian Hockey OGDB as two separate posts though. Anyone else?

Avatar
#218 OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F
February 13 2010, 12:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
Wanye wrote:

We are totally going to do Olympic GDBs. We even have an awesome name for them - OGDBs.

OG Gangster Rap pictures will abound. Don't you even trip.

Do you guys really want an Olympic blog per day?

OGDB

Could be a new Ogden acronym.

Avatar
#219 Harlie
February 13 2010, 12:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Lofty

I've got it recorded on my pvr. Maybe I'll download it on a usb and mail it you. Or you could just spend 3 hours on youtube.

There were some moving moments especially the intro montage which made the hairs on my neck stand up and when the Georgian team walked in I was fightin back the moisture. I also liked the projection whale's. Those were pretty cool.

Avatar
#220 Harlie
February 13 2010, 12:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

@Wanye

better recognize and include some EZ MFN E!

*looks over shoulder and checks himself before he wrecks himself*

Avatar
#221 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
February 13 2010, 12:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props
OB1 Team Yakopov - F.S.T.N.F wrote:

OGDB

Could be a new Ogden acronym.

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking.

OGDen Brother

Comments are closed for this article.