LET THE GAMES BEGIN
Wanye
February 12 2010 02:42PM

We will lead off by saying that we get excited about the Olympics. A 13 year old girl at a Justin Bieber autograph signing type excited. So you will have to take us with a grain of salt once the games kick get underway as we post 12,789 gushing comments like “Aren’t the Canadian Mens’ two man bobsled team the BOMB? Can you believe that Lyndon Rush won’t sled with Pierre Lueders anymore? What’s up with that?”
Most people are going into these games with the attitude of “Olympic hockey is the only thing that matters and don’t waste my time with anything else.” We can respect the fact that the Ice Hockey is numbero uno prioritato at these here games and we can guarantee that you can get your Olympic Hockey fix right here provided you are cheering on the home team.
And while the 3 Nations are temporarily coming together for a common cause, it in no way means that we have anything in common with that TLP – who we might add is an American and probably holds out some sort of weird hope that Ron Wilson can Coach the Red White and Blue to a fourth place finish.
FAT CHANCE
Cheering for Team Canada is going to be a damn sight better than the status quo up here in Edmonton, which has consisted lately of 12,789 articles about “who gets traded when and for what” and researching “all time losses in a row.” In fact it might be difficult for us to get our collective Oilers loving heads around cheering for hockey that matters again, but we are going to give it a shot.
Plus, there isn’t a single Oiler on Team Canada, which will give all of us pain stricken Oilers fans a two week break from having our hearts kicked in by the same old suspects on a nightly basis without being a turncoat and cheering for a different team. It’s basically one of the first win-win scenarios we have seen here in awhile.
To kick off the Olympic fun, we are going to give you a quick breakdown of some Olympic Hockey Biz. Let’s start getting our heads in the game Nations.
OLYMPIC BREAKDOWN

Remember the 2006 games in Turin? Wasn’t that just the worst thing that ever happened ever? For the thousands of four year old Nation readers out there who may not remember the last Olympics and might think that the greatest hockey country in the world finished respectably, think again.
Final Standings – 2006 Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey
1. Sweden (Gold)
2. Finland (Silver)
3. Czech Republic (Bronze)
4. Russia
5. Slovakia
6. Switzerland
7. Canada
8. United States
9. Kazakhstan
10. Germany
11. Italy
12. Latvia
You might look at the top of the standings and ask yourself “Gee whiz, where’s the Canadian team? I could swear we sent all our best players over to Italy to play…” Look down the ladder. Waaaaay down there to 7th place. Yep, that’s right. 2 spots ahead of the birth place of Borat sits the Canadian team. Small consolation that we finished ahead of the Americans when you let the Swiss finish ahead of you in the standings.
Ugh. The Swiss.
PAYBACK
You have to think that the Canadians – and the Americans for that matter – are looking for sweet, sweet revenge at these here Olympic Games. Before we start pumping ourselves up about the new roster, we thought we would take a look back at the roster that screwed the pooch back in ’06 and see who is returning to dispense some West Coast Payback on our collective behalf.
2006 Olympic roster
G Martin Brodeur (back)
G Roberto Luongo (back)
G Marty Turco (gonzo)
D Rob Blake (A) (gonzo)
D Jay Bouwmeester (gonzo)
D Adam Foote (gonzo)
D Bryan McCabe (gonzo)
D Chris Pronger (A) (back)
D Wade Redden (gonzo)
D Robyn Regehr (gonzo)
F Todd Bertuzzi (gonzo)
F Shane Doan (gonzo)
F Kris Draper (gonzo)
F Simon Gagné (gonzo)
F Dany Heatley (back)
F Jarome Iginla (back)
F Vincent Lecavalier (gonzo)
F Rick Nash (back)
F Brad Richards (gonzo)
F Joe Sakic (C) (gonzo)
F Ryan Smyth (gonzo)
F Martin St. Louis (gonzo)
F Joe Thornton (back)
Reserves
Dan Boyle (back)
Jason Spezza (gonzo)
Eric Staal (back)

Oh man, it is no small wonder that the Canadians did so crappy in 2006? Do you see who some of these players are? Kris Draper? Todd Bertuzzi? Bryan McCabe? Har har har har har!
*wipes eyes, blows nose*
That’s good stuff. Let’s look more in depth at the changes to the squad.
GOALTENDING
Turco is out, Fleury is in and this will be Brodeur’s squad to lead onto the ice in Van City. Nothing too crazy here we don’t think. Turco is getting a bit long in the tooth and MAF has won a Cup and theoretically has what it takes to win big games. We would clearly consider this Brodeur’s squad though and Fleury is in charge of sitting in the stands near the bench, looking as cool as he can muster and telling girls in the bar that he is “an Olympic gold medalist in training.”
DEFENSIVE CORPS
Amazingly, only one defenseman from 2006 is returning to the Olympic Team; world famous baby daddy Chris F.U. Pronger. Technically Niedermayer was on the 2006 squadron too, but an injury took him out of the lineup and threw McCabe in. The idea that some of these players were the best defenseman that the 2006 Edition of Canada could produce is a tad alarming.
This 2010 edition being iced is certainly a superior squad, younger, tougher and much more sexy with the deletion of Adam Foote. Some of the ‘06 defensemen led to a hearty round of laughter and table smashing here at OilersNation HQ. McCabe? Redden? Please, our sides are hurting. Wade Redden couldn’t be loved less in NY and McCabe has gone to Florida where NHL’ers retire 4 years before they actually leave the league.
FORWARDS
10 forwards aren’t coming back from last Olympics and that is just A-OK from where we sit. This is certainly a new squad, let’s hope there is going to be a different result. We are pumped beyond belief to see the Corey Perrys the Ryan Getzlafs of the world in a Team Canada Jersey. Finally we too can cheer for some players that have been sticking it to the Oil for what seems like hundreds of years without guilt of abandoning the home squad.
Ladies and Gentlemen – your 2010 Olympic Roster
G Martin Brodeur
G Marc-André Fleury
G Roberto Luongo
D Dan Boyle
D Drew Doughty
D Duncan Keith
D Scott Niedermayer – C
D Chris Pronger – A
D Brent Seabrook
D Shea Weber
F Patrice Bergeron
F Sidney Crosby – A
F Ryan Getzlaf
F Dany Heatley
F Jarome Iginla – A
F Patrick Marleau
F Brenden Morrow
F Rick Nash - A
F Mike Richards
F Corey Perry
F Eric Staal
F Joe Thornton
F Jonathan Toews
Reserve
F Jeff Carter
HOW WILL THEY DO?

Yes Amanda, we are number one.
We are the same guy who picks Oilers in every single hockey draft every single year regardless of how the team is actually going to look. Our 933rd place standing in the NationDraft will attest to that and so it should come as no surprise that we are going to pick Canada to win Gold. But unlike picking Comrie to outscore Bobby Ryan (which we also did) we think that the Canadians actually will win Gold, picking with our brains over our hearts.
Predicato del resultat:
1. Canada (Gold)
2. Russia (Silver)
3. Sweden (Bronze)
4. Finland
5. United States
6. Czech Republic
7. Slovakia
Holy crap. Er yeah. Ill actually flip that out, but for the record I didn't know about that happening when I wrote this.
They just showed that Georgian's last run on SportsCenter....
@BUCK75
duct tapes solves that problem
BTTF IV here we come! Christopher Lloyd and I will share producing credits with you ...
Um, EXCUSE ME? I'm pretty sure there's a huge difference between two man bobsled and luge. One is a death trap. The other gives you an excuse to rub up against your friend while wearing a skin tight suit. Also, it's a death trap. SHEEESH.
BIG NEWS! SportsCenter is reporting Wayne Gretzky will not light the cauldron.
I guess if Muhammad Ali could light the thing Marty McFly probably could without a hitch too.
This site is going to be unviewable with a hangover over the next couple of weeks.
the key to that is to just stay drunk.
Bahahaha
As an aside......ummmmm...want to get into 2 person bobsled with me? *bats eyelashes*
I'm not sure coaches and players getting together is a good idea, Coach
JamesRonaldo...*hears karma sirens in the distance*
I'd put legitimate money down on it being Betty Fox. Gretzky would be amazing, but, come on. No one can compete with Terry Fox, nor his hobbling ghost.
EDIT: WHOA 420 MAN! *unleashes one single chortle so hard he's knocked unconscious until the 2014 Sochi Olympics*
terry fox hologram lighting that cauldron up?
imagine the pot heads dealing with that
If only the players would keep their mouths shu....oh those sirens.
*lights house on fire and runs*
Agreed... Besides that Betty White is one hot Golden Girl...Wait, what? Betty Fox?
*enters a shame spiral that would make Tiger Woods blush*
latest rumour is terry fox's mom running along side a hologram of terry fox for the final leg and lighting that b1tch up.
crazy if true
Jagr carrying Czech flag tonight. Let's hope security can keep Tambellini far enough away to prevent him from offering a 10 million dollar contract to him while walking.
hahaha AHHHHH it would be less funny if it wasn't so god damn plausible. I may head down there a little later, just to "keep an eye on things".
I heard this too - it would be amazing.
Unless hologram is accidentally set to kill mode - at which point we are all in huge crap.
Hologram: KILL HUMAN
All of us: *nervously adjusts collar* Um, holograms don't have the ability to occupy actual space do they? This will be like fighting a ghost right?
http://www.rachaelflatt.net/
ghostbusters 3?
*clears throat*
Ahem...
LET'S DOOOOOOOoooooo THIS!!!1!
*glances over and sees a 4 skated ski suit wearing abomination being ridden by an already drunk and naked Towel Boy*
DAMMIT! I'M LATE TO THE PARTY AGAIN!?!?
Damn. Jennifer Hedger is hot.
And married, apparently.
*Begins to sob and crosses Hedger off "potentials" list.*
Great new layout, guys!
I love the smell of #FF0000 in the morning!
@David S
She's looking real good today. Must be that crisp, BC air.
*begins to drool and marks Hedger on his "stalkable" list*
Ahhhhh . . . Our Canadian ice-girl is finished, and she looks great. A better ambassador than even our beloved Humantorch, that's what she is.
I tried to put an image of Horse-Wanye leaning over her shoulder with one hoof-skate debonairly tapping his teeth, but it didn't work out. Sorry, my Man. Maybe next time.
Whoa! Kelly Vanderbeek? WoW!
She's like 27 and married to a 40 year old guy.
@David S
What's with all these hot skiers? Lindsey Vonn, Christine Nesbitt & Kikkan Randall.
FYI to twitter peeps, @verified/olympians is a list of olympians.
This red background theme is killing my eyes.
Terry Fox is going to light the torch!!
Have row 21 Tix to the Canada US Game! Super pumped.
Went to the Norway-UBC game on Wednesday. Chatted with Patrick Thoreson as he had just arrived from Germany. Nice guy. Tough to understand. 7th in KHL scoring!! Why would we want Jagr?
Well there is that hologram from Star Trek the Next Generation where he was able to take over the Enterprise. If he can do it there, it can happen anywhere cant it???!!?!?!?!
We already had Patrick on our team. We waived him.
There was also Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room, I think.
Why can't they sing the anthem like it is meant to be sung, not the freaking remix version. Awful.
This opening is a FREAKING EMBARASSMENT!!!
Beijing had fireworks and we have Indians?? I don't mean it to be racist at all. I'm just saying that is not the first impression that I would want to give the world of our country. We got a guy boarding down a mountain and a "welcoming" that nobody was clapping for......
x2
Beijing had computer generated fireworks and an ugly little girl singing behind the scenes with a cute little girl lip-synching out front. Now THAT is an embarassment.
I thought it was good. Actually sounded like a song from the radio. Not the acapella organ crap we hear 82 hundred times a year.
@Archaeologuy
they also made it rain and gave out free dust masks. How awesome is that!
@Harlie
I thought she sang really well, but I dont know if I liked that version of the Anthem.
i think I may have to tune into a few of the Danish womens events.
Yeah, always great to see athletes ditch the opening ceremonies due to concerns regarding the breathability of the air.
That chick has a great voice. But between that gussied up version of the anthem, and that nauseating "I Believe" song she's 0 for 2 so far.
Oh, and on a far more important note; How many smokin' hot girls are competing in these Olympics????? My lord it's an amazing crop!
@Archaeologuy
So what... The show was awsome and the opening drum bit got everyone going. This one puts you to sleep.
Never said she didn't have a good voice, just that her rendition was horrible. Brutal. Went on.... and on... zzzzzz
@The Anti-Troll
I agree about the rendition, it didnt sound like our National Anthem.
I was hoping for something a little bigger right at the opening too, but oh well. I cant change it.
I thought Nikki looked, and sounded really nice. I said to the wife, "In Beijing they had a prepubescent girl sing the anthem... In CANADA we top that with a HOT sixteen year old girl!"
Then she hit me... because society demanded it.
@Chris Team Fire Chairman Lowe!
You should tell her that this is a time for celebrating cultural diversity, and in many of the nations (Oilernation included?) 16 is practicly too old.
@Chris Team Fire Chairman Lowe!
Just told the wife what you wrote and got punched cause I was laughing my ass off.