09-09-09

Wanye
September 09 2009 11:45AM

 09_09_09

We have a buddy who has convinced himself for some reason that today - 09-09-09 - is a day of of magic and wonder because of the fact the date can be summarized with the same number thrice. We wonder if everyone has a buddy like this, who looks at the calendar several times a year and exclaims “DAMN SON! Do you realize that it’s (insert stupid date here)” Then he looks around in awe and wonder, as though gumdrops will rain from the sky simply because it’s September 9, 2009.

We may not subscribe to stupidity in a grandiose scale, but we can agree that all sorts of interesting things are happening. Much like our colleague Jason Gregor has already noted today, it seems like forever since we have written on the hallowed ground that is the Nation. But unlike Gregor, who is taking his time away to decipher the transgenderedness of Lady Gaga we have busied ourselves getting things ready for the new season.

If you had told us when we launched this site that it would still be around in 2009 we would have roundhouse kicked you in the thorax and then told on you for lying right to our face. Then after we had calmed down from all the crying, we would have probably asked you “does the 2009 version of the Nation have an edit button on comments?” Then you would have been forced to say no, then it would have been back to the kicking and the tattling.

New site on the way

As part of our “throw your life down the toilet and get on with living in the river valley 2009 Edition” we have sat down with some genius progamming types to plot out the future of the Nations. For those of you folks who are new to the Nation, we have had hilarious problems with trying to improve the Nations in offseasons past. The current version of the Nation was launched in December 2008. But much like a pair of Size 32 trousers on Dustin Penner, we too have since outgrown it. So now we have spent the past 2 weeks looking at other websites, stealing ideas, eating granola bars, talking to people way higher on the food chain than we are and putting together a new version of the Nation which will launch sometime in October.

New Gear on the way

We have also received a few emails from folk asking why we have taken down the Nation Gear store on the site. The reason is quite simple one. But because we don’t understand web development, computers and refer to electricity as “a miracle,” we won’t embarass ourselves with an explanation. Suffice to say that the site kept crashing in large part due to the e-commerce department of the operation. The web developers we are now working with reviewed the site and laughed heartily at many of its components. “Har! Har! Har” they would guffaw, “you must be some kind of stupid to have paid for this garbage Wanye. ”

That was the point of the meeting when the roundhouse kicking and the tattling began anew.

The point of this story? Yes, we are getting new Nation Gear for the 2009-10 season and yes, it is going to be cheaper than it was last year and yes, it is going to be a wicked new design and yes, there are going to be hats too. It truly is a new beginning.

Jonathan Willis

genius

Well, well, well. Speaking of a new beginning let’s take a moment to discuss our good friend Jonathan Willis for a moment shall we? You remember Jonathan Willis right? The guy who has taken more shots to the face than the entire UFC combined from some people over the past 18 months? The guy who has written more articles about the Oilers than the Edmonton Journal in it’s entire history? Well all you Willis haters can just get ready to eat a triple helping of wang because:

*massive drum roll*

Jonathan Willis has been hired by the Score

surprize

We can hear the haters right now “But how can this be? What am I to do? Why won’t girls ever talk to me?" That friends, is because you are ugly. Ugly and terrible smelling and you can’t judge talent for shit. Bob Coatsworth, head-big-cheese-massive-deal-guy at The Score sure can though. We discussed this during a lengthy email chat, and we asked him about Willis, the big move and tried to hit him up for a $50 loan (he said he would think about it.)

“We are really excited about this move to bring Willis aboard. As far as hockey bloggers go, there are very few that are as good with analysis, opinion and are especially as prolific as Jonathan. I first started reading Jonathan last winter and kept an eye on him knowing that hiring a full-time hockey blogger was something we'd eventually be able to do. In June we got the okay to do it and then I spent the summer making sure that I couldn't find someone better. I realized right away that would be impossible. The Score has recognized the value of blogs for a while now.  There have been blogs of some type on our site going back as far as maybe 2001 or 2002. But it wasn't until the last three years or so, when more resources started going into the website, that we really put effort into blogs to varying degrees of success and failure. Sports blogs are a great complement to the MSM. They don't get much respect because any old keyboard warrior can start one up, but among the hundreds that might do that, there's always a few that dedicate themselves to it and contribute something really valuable. Gone are the days that it's necessary to go to journalism school to get this kind of opportunity. The web has proven that."

Question: How awesome is this? Answer: Very. Big ups to the Score for their forward thinking and general niceness.

Let's all go look at Willis' new site shall we?

Does this mean Willis is leaving OilersNation?

Somehow during negotiations, Willis pounded his fist on the table and demanded he be allowed to continue to write here in addition to his duties for the monolithic Score Corporation. And for some reason or other, The Score agreed. While all you Willis haters are scratching your heads over that one, do us a favor and quickly punch yourself in the face. Just a l'il one for your ol' pal Wanye.

Yeah.

For those of you who skip to the end of articles to start commenting here is a summary:

  • Jonathan Willis now writes for The Score and is bascially guaranteed a Pulitzer Prize within hours.
  • Jonathan Willis insisted that he be allowed to continue to write for the Nations and impossibly the Score agreed.
  • Wanye talked to a big cheese at The Score and he was a nice guy.
  • Jonathan Willis supporters are wildly and violently celebrating in the streets. Willis haters are being brutally attacked in their homes and their businesses are being shunned en masse.
  • Jonathan Willis has the power of X-Ray vision and the ability to fly.

celebrate

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Antony Ta
September 09 2009, 02:02PM
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Congrats, J dub

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#52 Milli
September 09 2009, 02:09PM
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Congrats JW!!!

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#53 Lyndsay
September 09 2009, 02:24PM
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First of all, congrats Mr. Willis! That's freakin' awesome. Secondly, does anyone where I can find the Oilers' Sportsnet schedule for this season? Has it been released yet? I keep searching for it, but can't find it. And I tried to ask Wanye, but what do I get? Nothing! Anywho, someone's gotta know, right? I have faith in you guys. It's pretty close to the season already, and not knowing which games are on Sportsnet is making me antsy. What if I want to watch the all-important pre-season games?? I need to know which ones are on TV... I NEED to know. Help.

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#54 BK
September 09 2009, 02:43PM
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Congrats to JW! He does write compelling content, and so I am happy to read (and at times disagree) with more of it!

BUT SERIOUSLY..."“Har! Har! Har” they would guffaw, “you must be some kind of stupid to have paid for this garbage Wanye. ”

That was the point of the meeting when the roundhouse kicking and the tattling began anew."

MADE ME LAUGH OUTLOUD IN A VERY QUIET AND CROWDED OFFICE! Damn, that was funny! Thanks for that.

Sincerely, Fired for horesplay at work.

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#55 Bruthah
September 09 2009, 02:47PM
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@ Wanye:

I think you missed the target with the random kid picture. If anything, it should have been TB's photoshop of the guitar kid with AK-47, ya know, for special occasions.

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#56 Ender the Dragon
September 09 2009, 03:28PM
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Congrat's, Jon. You deserve this. And thanks for the loyalty to the Nation; I'd hate having to look up two different sites to read both you and Wayne.

And Wanye,I am on my hands and knees praying right now that the last photo is of neither you nor Jon. I just don't think my respect for either of you could recover from knowing that one of you actually looked like that. I mean, it would totally explain why you sent Bingofuel to do the TV thing and all, but if it's really a Nation guy, I just don't want to know, 'kay?

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#57 f@tD@ddY
September 09 2009, 03:50PM
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Congrats, Jon.

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#58 10 Cent Horcoff
September 09 2009, 04:04PM
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That is awesome, Congrats Willis!!

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#59 Joey Moss
September 09 2009, 04:13PM
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I was wondering if he would get a spot on 1260 during the latest musical time slots... I didn't figure he would end up on TV though. Good for Jon, he has certainly earned it... his volume of work is absurd.

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#60 Dominoiler
September 09 2009, 04:36PM
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Its only time wayne, before your own bloging skills are recognized.. great post.. hehe..

Oh yeah, the general congrats for JW... very cool shitman, congrats for sure... work put in for an unexpected result..

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#61 DeepOil
September 09 2009, 04:58PM
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Congrats JW - hoping for you to provide time and dates you will be on the score - pay it forward - good luck.

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#62 knobert
September 09 2009, 05:01PM
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Congrats JW

best movie qoute to fit your G homie picture from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels........

Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.

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#63 oilitsinyoutogive
September 09 2009, 05:07PM
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yea good for Willis, he deserves everything that comes to him. and Wayne, dude if you think the 5$ footlong is cool, u should try a torpedo from Quiznos...i would have to say they are better, and did i mention they are only 4$....

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#64 BUCK75
September 09 2009, 05:09PM
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Comment 60 missed your spam robot - still some 'quirks' slip through.

WizZ wrote:

http://www.musdepo.com/video/ скачать фильм бросок кобры
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#65 Gerald R. Ford
September 09 2009, 06:07PM
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dyckster wrote:

Totally different topic, has anyone been to this site? I swear some of those hillbillys shop at the St.Albert Walmart. http://peopleofwalmart.com/

Every time I think, "NO, that HAS to be the worst picture.", I'm astounded (and further repulsed) by the next one. You'd think that'd make me want to stop...

Congrats, Jonathan. Definitely deserved!

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#66 Neil Sherwood
September 09 2009, 06:25PM
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I have punched myself in the face.

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#67 cableguy
September 09 2009, 07:30PM
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Neil Sherwood wrote:

I have punched myself in the face.

youtube or it didnt happen

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#68 Adam Dyck
September 09 2009, 07:41PM
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I kind of got mentioned in a Wanye Gretz article! SWOON.

Also, Dyckster, not only have you stolen my last name, but you have now destroyed any life I may have had by posting this link.

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#69 Wanye Gretz
September 09 2009, 07:46PM
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BUCK75 wrote:

Comment 60 missed your spam robot – still some ‘quirks’ slip through. WizZ wrote: http://www.musdepo.com/video/ скачать фильм бросок кобры

Really I think that WizZ put it best myself. There is only one way to celebrate the ascent of Willis. Bizarre Russian video sites.

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#70 Wanye Gretz
September 09 2009, 07:47PM
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oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

Wayne, dude if you think the 5$ footlong is cool, u should try a torpedo from Quiznos…i would have to say they are better, and did i mention they are only 4$

I was briefly a fan of the Torpedo but I have come to the realization that it is simply too small.

That's what she said.

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#71 David S
September 09 2009, 08:13PM
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Jeez man. Willis is going MSM? That's pretty cool...uhhh...I guess. Does this mean Robin has to acknowledge Jonathan's existence now?

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#72 BigE57
September 09 2009, 08:43PM
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David S wrote:

Jeez man. Willis is going MSM? That’s pretty cool…uhhh…I guess. Does this mean Robin has to acknowledge Jonathan’s existence now?

That would mean he would have to acknowledge the rest of "reporters and bloggers" on the Score as MSM. Tim Micallef? That's stretching it.

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#73 Jason Gregor
September 09 2009, 08:45PM
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JW,

Good luck man and congrats. Well deserved...

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#74 Jonathan Willis
September 09 2009, 11:27PM
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Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate it.

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#75 Petr's Jofa
September 10 2009, 06:47AM
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Am I the only one slightly saddened by this?

It's kinda like when a grilfriend says that she wants to see other people but she will stick around for the odd date night and booty call.... *sob*

Oh gawd Jonathan! *sob* I want you 100% to myself, I don't want to share you. *sob* Opening this door is the first step in you finding something better and walking out of my life for good. *snot filled sob* I knew all along I had it too good. You say you'll be here, but I can't help but feel that I'm going to you for good. *sob*

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#76 Wanye Gretz
September 10 2009, 08:21AM
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@ Petr's Jofa:

*Nervously adjusts collar, wonders when Petr's Jofa decided to become SwimFan*

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#77 Petr's Jofa
September 10 2009, 09:35AM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Sorry Wanye I'm a little emotional right now due to the fact that I'm going to miss yet another Oiler season due to the fact that I'm stuck on a god forsaken chunk of rock in the North Atlantic.

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#78 bingofuel
September 10 2009, 09:50AM
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@ Petr's Jofa:

What on earth do you do for a living?

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#79 Petr's Jofa
September 10 2009, 10:10AM
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@ bingofuel:

Work in Newfoundland.

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#80 Deans
September 10 2009, 03:56PM
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Congratulations Willis. I love your work and I'm pumped that you will be heading to my favorite sports network. I'd love to hear you break it down on HSR, especially with Morency and Cam. Keep bringing it buddy.

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#81 gangangaguinga
October 11 2009, 08:07AM
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October 11 2009, 11:41AM
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October 11 2009, 04:00PM
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