Long shots, no shots and the in-betweens

Wanye
September 21 2009 11:58AM

master_p

From all accounts that was a bit of a snoozer last night in the wonderful City of Saskatoon. As much as one can’t really find too much fault with the Oilers gassing a preseason tilt, the level of intensity required to win the game certainly wasn’t on display for all the wonderful Saskatoononianites to see. And that certainly sets the effort bar rather low, wouldn’t you say?

Not showing enough emotion to beat the Isles in preseason hockey is kind of like losing to a four year old in a game of chess. Sure, it’s possible - but you had better hope that there was some sort of valid reason for suffering the loss. We will chalk this one up to “not a lot of veterans playing, it’s preseason so who cares anyways, if we hurried could we make the tail end of breakfast at McDs?” See how little that game mattered? Our mind wandered 13 words into post game analysis.

Instead of dissecting the performance of the team, we thought it would be a good idea to kick off the week pondering the different types of players that are hanging around camps at this time of year, living life squarely on the bubble and hoping to make their respective squadrons. These types of players fall into a variety of categories but we will take a look at three different types.

Type #1: The hotshot prospect

eberle

The Jordan Eberles of the world have the least drama attached to their campaign to make the big club but are entertaining to watch nonetheless. They usually use their early training camps to build an underground following of fans that will fall deeply in love with their style of play. These fans are sadly disappointed when the hotshot departs and then spend the remainder of the season following him from afar as he crushes whatever league he is ultimately sent to. There is little question that a hotshot prospect will ultimately have a career in the big leagues - it’s more a question of when. Unless of course that prospect is named Rob Schremp. If that is the case he will spend his entire career living on YouTube highlights destroying AHL all star skills competitions.

Type #2: The designated distraction

Anyone remember 1990s mega rapper Percy “Master P” Miller? Anyone remember how he hilariously tried to make the Raptors in 1999? That year Miller showed up to camp with a net worth estimated at $361 million dollars, a picture on the cover of Forbes Magazine and a burning desire to make the Toronto Raptors. Miller sent rap and Raptor fans into a tizzy that training camp, bringing in his positivity, superstardomery and surprising level of skill.

It worked out great for the 1999 Raptors too, who were looking to shield second year player Vince Carter from the early season spotlight and were all too happy to discuss Miller’s ability to ball. Miller was ultimately waived one game short of playing an entire full season and the Raptors went on to do, well nothing.

We love ourselves a good designated distraction at training camp. Celebrity crossovers, former players, reigning monarchs looking for a new career. Professional teams all too often will grant these types conditional try outs and laugh heartily as the media scrum heads in their direction after each camp session. Then they go about the business of actually assembling a team.

Type #3: The wildcard

fleurywow

Wildcard prospects looking to make the big team are easily one of the more entertaining parts of training camp as well. Part designated distraction, part player-who-might-actually-do-it; they arrive at camp with an extremely remote chance of making the team. Fans usually work themselves into a lather about the prospects of the Wildcard resurrecting his career, winning scoring titles and leading their team to glory. It’s a win-win scenario for the team. Wildcard makes the Squadron? All the fans feel good about the bottomless well of second chances their favourite team seems to offer. Wildcard doesn’t make the squad? Fans are minorly disappointed but quickly get over the loss having been entertained throughout training camp.

For the life of us we can’t believe the Wildcard that is Theo Fleury down in Calgary this training camp. The little bugger scored another goal last night – a dandy on a breakaway at that - and has made things even harder for Calgary coaches as they try and pare down their roster. Let’s be very clear, we don’t exactly lie awake at night worrying about the line combinations for the Flames. We do however love a good wildcard at training camp and this ranks up there as one of the better ones in awhile. Our man Jean Lefebvre over at the FlamesNation had an interesting article on the matter, taking a look at other old fogey types that have returned from the Athlete Retirement Village to have a second career.

Within the context of boring preseason hockey there are a million storylines looking to play themselves out. These are but three. We for one wish all the long shot prospects working their asses off the best of luck. Except Master P of course. He is history’s greatest monster.

Gregor getting roasted

One final item before we mosey on over to the Liquor Store for our first Colt 45 of the day. Our esteemed colleague Jason Gregor is being roasted tonight in support of Sports Central. On any given day we consider ripping on Gregor right up there in our favourite things to do. Being able to comfortably sit in the audience while professional comics do the hard yards for us? It approaches a perfect storm in our world.

It’s at the Comic Strip at WEM tonight. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8. $25 per ticket in support of the deserving folks over at Sports Central. We are going to be there – house arrest monitoring ankle bracelet be damned. Maybe you should too.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 jeff
September 21 2009, 12:04PM
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I wish I wouldn't of read this blog. Now I will knowingly miss the roast. How didn't I hear about this sooner, I would've went for sure.

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#2 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 12:05PM
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@ jeff:

Lots of people wish they hadn't read my stuff Jeff. Don't feel bad.

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#3 jeff
September 21 2009, 12:06PM
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LOL. I like your stuff. I'm just disappointed that I will miss a roast of Gregor. Plus it's been awhile since I've been at the comic strip

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#4 Colin
September 21 2009, 12:09PM
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Raptors pic + no shots = comedy.

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#5 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 12:18PM
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@ jeff:

I could make fun of Gregor for a couple of hours on the site today to give you the Online Experience if you would like...

That Jason Gregor. What a guy!

*rim shot*

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#6 Benzino
September 21 2009, 12:22PM
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Boring to read...but good song Bout It Bout It

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#7 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 12:23PM
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@ Benzino:

I respect the moniker Benzino. How did your beef with Eminem turn out?

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#8 Benzino
September 21 2009, 12:26PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: He overdosed on valium and had to go to the hospital so i just squashed it cause he has bigger issues then beefing with me

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#9 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 12:34PM
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@ Benzino:

He certainly is skinny now. Like "Olsen Twin" skinny.

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#10 Greg MC
September 21 2009, 01:03PM
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Kanye West < Wanye Gretz

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#11 Kanye
September 21 2009, 01:16PM
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@ Greg MC:

Imma let you finish, but Wanye Gretz had the best comment of all time.

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#12 The Towel Boy
September 21 2009, 01:17PM
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Greg MC wrote:

Kanye West < Wanye Gretz

Now I'ma let you have your comment....but Beyonce has the best comment in the world. Thank you.

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#13 The Towel Boy
September 21 2009, 01:18PM
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@ Kanye:

haha...wow, gr8 minds think alike...SCARY! Who's in my MIND!?!?

*glances over shoulder*

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#14 Poo Czar
September 21 2009, 01:21PM
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@ The Towel Boy:

Over the shoulder glances are usually reserved for when someone is in something other than your mind. Just sayin'.

HEY-O!

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#15 Gerald R. Ford
September 21 2009, 01:23PM
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Those old purple Raptor unis were awesome.

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#16 The Towel Boy
September 21 2009, 01:25PM
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@ Poo Czar:

www.instantrimshot.com

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#17 scorecoff hemmercules
September 21 2009, 01:26PM
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Why the hate on Master P? I loved that sh*t in highschool! All those funny catch phrases he had were the best. He also produced more albums in one year than anyone ever. I think all the rappers on those albums are in prison now though.

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#18 Chaz
September 21 2009, 02:19PM
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Wow, not only is Gregor willing to be roasted for a good cause, but he's doing it on a night when his beloved Dolphins are on Monday night. You are a kind Man Sir, and here's to hoping the good Karma you're putting out will lead Ronnie Brown to a 200 yard, 3 TD explosion....not that I have him in my fantasy pool or anything like that...

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#19 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 02:35PM
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Why hate on Master P indeed. Scorecoff Hemmercules - your defense of this rapper has elevated you even more in my books if that is somehow possible.

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#20 scorecoff hemmercules
September 21 2009, 02:53PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Once and a while I'm reminded of all the sweet rap that was put out in the 90's and I spend an afternoon in the basement with my massive 90's rap collection. Today is one of those days. UGGGGGHHHHHH, I'm 'Bout it 'Bout it. Hahaha, I even have P's movie where him an Mack 10 run this crazy huge crack house to get rich.

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#21 Downright Fierce
September 21 2009, 02:57PM
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Make 'em say unnnnghhhh! Unnnnghhhh! Nuh-na-nana! Nuh-na-nana!

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#22 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 02:59PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Benzino: I respect the moniker Benzino. How did your beef with Eminem turn out?

LOL

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#23 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 03:05PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules: I like to have Dogg Pound parties where I just kick back and listen to some of the sweet D-P-G-C Muzak.

Those No Limit CD covers were Ghetto!

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#24 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 03:05PM
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Gregor just added a chick to his show! Wil who?

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#25 SkinnyD
September 21 2009, 03:08PM
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The Edmonton Oilers assigned eight players today (four defencemen and four forwards), leaving their training camp roster at 34 players.

Assigned to Springfield (AHL): Ryan O'Marra (RW), Alex Plante (D), Jake Taylor (D) and Bryan Young (D)

Assigned to Saskatoon (WHL): Milan Kytnar (C)

Placed on waivers for the purpose of assignment: Dean Arsene (D), Ryan Potulny (C) and Chris Minard (LW).

How does that affect the bottom 3 guys?

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#26 SkinnyD
September 21 2009, 03:18PM
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To clarify - will they need to also clear waivers on the way back up if called upon?

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#27 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 03:24PM
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@ SkinnyD: No.

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#28 SkinnyD
September 21 2009, 03:27PM
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@ RossCreek: Thank you sir...

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#29 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 03:59PM
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scorecoff hemmercules wrote:

Hahaha, I even have P’s movie where him an Mack 10 run this crazy huge crack house to get rich.

You do not have I'm bout it the movie. No way.

*secretly hopes that he does indeed have a copy of I'm bout it*

RossCreek wrote:

Gregor just added a chick to his show! Wil who?

I can actually shed some light on this. For the first time in my natural life I am in a radio studio quietly watching Gregor weave his magic tapistry of radiosity. His new producer is h-o-t.

*loads twin shotguns and hands one to Gregor*

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#30 scorecoff hemmercules
September 21 2009, 04:18PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

You better believe I have it! Str8 gagsta on VHS too! Special order, $50 at the time seemed like a bargain. Looking back I could have bought a case of 40oz Old English for the boys and probably had a better time.

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#31 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 04:19PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules:

If you have seen the movie Pootie Tang, you and I are going to start a rock band and tour small venues on the Eastern seaboard.

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#32 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 04:23PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: My buddy left his VHS copy of I'm Bout It here a few months back. I'm staring at the cover right now.

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#33 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 04:25PM
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@ RossCreek:

WHAT ON EARTH??? Two people have copies of this movie other than me!?

*wonders what else he has secretly in common with people on the Nation*

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#34 scorecoff hemmercules
September 21 2009, 04:27PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Hahaha, Pootie Tang! All my memories of that movie are lost in a haze of keg beer and bong hits. For being such a hilarious dude, Chris Rock sure has done alot of crap movies. CB4 has to be the best. When he turns into that rag doll while that ho is slamming him against the rail of that balcony, classic.

*runs out frantically to buy copy of CB4*

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#35 Wanye Gretz
September 21 2009, 04:31PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules:

CB4 is probably one of the greatest hip-hop comedies of all time. I am not ashamed to say that a young Wanye once possessed a CB4 toque back in Junior High. I can't remember how it came into my possession but it was funky fresh.

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#36 ronaldo
September 21 2009, 04:49PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: @ scorecoff hemmercules: I've got a serious urge to change name from ronaldo to Gusto. That would be way cooler.

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#37 RossCreek
September 21 2009, 05:04PM
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Anyone know who's coming to town with Jay-Z?

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#38 scorecoff hemmercules
September 21 2009, 05:05PM
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@ ronaldo:

Str8 outta Lokash, crazymuthafukka named Gusto!

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#39 ronaldo
September 21 2009, 05:10PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules: Exactly

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#40 Ender the Dragon
September 21 2009, 05:28PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ scorecoff hemmercules: If you have seen the movie Pootie Tang, you and I are going to start a rock band and tour small venues on the Eastern seaboard.

Pootie Tang - is that anything like Where the Red Fern Grows?

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#41 Greg MC
September 21 2009, 06:13PM
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CB4! Don't forget about Dead Mike!!!

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#42 Morning Coffee Sept 22 | The AltRaps Blog
September 22 2009, 07:32AM
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[...] Flamesnation.ca Anyone remember 1990s mega rapper Percy “Master P” Miller? Anyone remember how he hilariously tried to make the Raptors in 1999? That year Miller showed up to camp with a net worth estimated at $361 million dollars, a picture on the cover of Forbes Magazine and a burning desire to make the Toronto Raptors. Miller sent rap and Raptor fans into a tizzy that training camp, bringing in his positivity, superstardomery and surprising level of skill. [...]

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October 10 2009, 06:35AM
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