Mike Comrie signs with the Oil?

Wanye
August 27 2009 03:22PM

coms1

Now we don't disagree with Robin Brownlee about anything - ever. It's not because we are scared of him, but more we are scared of the things he would do to us if we ever angered him. Sure we love a good drive by shooting as much the next guy, but we are far too pretty to have our face rearranged by “BC’s most dangerous man 1977.”

But a couple of hours ago we were messaged by a guy we know who said “now that you have got your head out of your (edited) and returned to writing on the Nation, you might be interested in discussing the fact that it would appear Daryl Katz has personally wired up a one year deal for 1.3 million with Mike Comrie.” Our eyes shot out of our head so fast that we put down the bag of cans we were scavanging in the river valley and ran straight home screaming at the top of our lungs, bloody eye sockets and all.

Now we aren’t here to start a database of falsehoods in our best Eklund imitation. We aren’t going to engage in idle speculation about how billionaires are rarer than foreign tourists in Edmonton and how Bill Comrie and Daryl Katz are probably friends on some level which could have led to a dialogue being opened with Dot Com's camp. We wouldn’t presume to weigh in on an unlikely rumor that could be a potential disaster this season.

We won’t pretend that we know better than Brownlee who told us back on August 19:

“While Comrie, now 29, is good enough to play in the Oilers top six and could be had for a discount rate, like maybe $2 million in a one-year contract, it’s a profoundly bad idea on so many levels I don’t even know where to start.”

However interesting re-signing Comrie would be in an attempt to exercise the “everyone hates Edmonton” demons that began when he left town back in 2003 under a cloud of rumors and cloak-and-daggery, we won’t lower ourselves onto the slippery slope of discussing this in great detail.

But you can.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#151 oilitsinyoutogive
August 27 2009, 06:37PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Eric: THANK YOU VERY MUCH I CAN TELL YOU ARE EXCITED AND THAT WE DON’T HAVE A MINUTE TO WASTE BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO USE PUNCTUATION OR TURN OFF OUR CAPS LOCK I’M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE YELLING AT ME IN YOUR POST BECAUSE YOU ARE HARD OF HEARING SO I THOUGHT I WOULD YELL BACK SO YOU COULD MAKE OUT WHAT I AM SAYING. Thanks for commenting and reading the site dude. Love, Wanye

would you like to start the slow clap or should i?

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#152 Dyckster
August 27 2009, 06:44PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Oh, I was referring to the Bertuzzi comment.

Ah, you're forgiven then, you definitely coulda replied in a much more bone jarring manner.

jeanshorts wrote:

And just because Hilary Duff is tiny, and is dating a tiny man, doesn’t mean she’d be attracted to a sports writer who looks like he’s entering grade 10 this year, does it? Damn my manly looks!!!

I think Britney Spears little sister is probably a better bet for you Mr. Shorts. She's obviously a sure thing and is probably closer to the age you're looking for.

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#153 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 06:51PM
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@ Dyckster:

I've got my eye on that Bristol Palin. She puts out and there'd be the chance I could seduce her mom.

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#154 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 06:54PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Well really the only change you'd have to make is adding Tupac.

I've said too much........

*dispenses a smoke bomb, tries to disappear but collapses and dies due to asthma related symptoms*

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#155 cableguy
August 27 2009, 06:55PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

cocks

heh heh heh

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#156 GSC
August 27 2009, 07:17PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

@ Dyckster: Get out. *cocks a shotgun and rocks back and forth in a rocking chair*

"Excuse me, do you know how to get to town?"

"Yeah, it's back the way you came!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plMk5_J6DN4

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#157 Milli
August 27 2009, 07:18PM
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I'd take comrie at 1.3, but I sure hope in Tambo pulling the trigger. I hate hearing about an Dkatz's involvement all the time....

My list....Britney and her sister...both trashy sure things. Bristol and her mommy!!! Damn, they could even bring there bibles. Oh ya, and JESICCA SIMPSON, dumb as a ?????, but goddamn HOT!!!!!

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#158 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 07:26PM
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Is the site really slow for anyone else or is my Commodore64 just screwing the pooch again?

*considers contacting Nation computer gurus, but also considers recent hi-risk activity performed on his home computer that could result in problems surfing the web*

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#159 Professor Timothy Nosewater
August 27 2009, 07:28PM
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Personally, I'd like to take a run at those Jonas sisters, they're smoki....wait, what?!? *puts down lotion, starts thumping head against wall in attempt to erase very bad thoughts*

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#160 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 07:30PM
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Professor Timothy Nosewater wrote:

Personally, I’d like to take a run at those Jonas sisters, they’re smoki….wait, what?!? *puts down lotion, starts thumping head against wall in attempt to erase very bad thoughts*

damn, forgot to change name back....On second thought owning up to that comment maybe not the best idea ever.

PS Yes Wayne, site down to one horsepower, one sick dying horse.

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#161 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 07:33PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Mike Comrie is trying to single handedly take down Oilers Nation.

And, uhh, yes. It's working as well as my wiener after 10 or so rounds of Jack and cokes.

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#162 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 07:35PM
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Please note that we are currently fixing the site. And by we I mean people much smarter than I, do not dispair.

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#163 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 07:43PM
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Forget Comrie; are you freakin' kidding me?

JSBM knows the Caramilk secret?

My people are prepared to pay . . . $50M*.

*JSBM dollars.

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#164 Dyckster
August 27 2009, 07:45PM
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ctvolympics.ca is showing the Olympic Team scrimmage live from Calgary. You know what's f!ing awesome....the Calgary faithful are booing Heatley! Bloody fantastic!

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#165 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 07:48PM
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I find it hilarious that things like this rumor getting picked up on a handful of sites still crash our website. Apparently spiking traffic is causing this nonsense.

It may be time to rebuild the site again. What do you think Nation?

*smashes fist into table top as he considers the third rewrite in as many summers*

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#166 oilitsinyoutogive
August 27 2009, 07:52PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: To quote a very smart voice in some dudes head

"if you build it, they will come"

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#167 Ogden Brother
August 27 2009, 07:56PM
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Seems like a waste, we've already got 7 guys for 6 top 6 spots. The last thing we need is another small guy to make 8.

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#168 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 08:04PM
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@ oilitsinyoutogive:

Our version of that voice will have to say "if you build it thrice they will come"

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#169 Oilers offer Mike Comrie a $1.3M deal? | Putting on the Foil
August 27 2009, 08:38PM
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[...] Oilersnation has a post up about the Oilers offering Mike Comrie a contract (reportedly worth $1.3M). Dan Tencer says they “have not signed Comrie but I’m led to believe that it’s not out of the realm of possibility.” [...]

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#170 -30-
August 27 2009, 08:40PM
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In other news, Oilers hire Dave Hunter as team dietitian and fitness coach.

-30-

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#171 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 08:45PM
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Hey! Refresh worked. So what were we talking about?

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#172 Deep Oil
August 27 2009, 08:46PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Hockey Noob: If I wanted to generate traffic I would post doctored pictures of jeanshorts and baggedmilk discovering the Caramilk secret, while cruising around in a limousine driven by Tupac Shakur. THAT would be a hyped ratings play. THIS is what I believe to be true.

Tupac is alive, he faked his own death.... hxxp://www.tmz.com/2009/04/29/tupac-is-alive/

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#173 Bob
August 27 2009, 08:55PM
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I heard that Daryl Katz actually has developed drugs that cure cancer, but that he is holding them back because he makes more off of the other treatment drugs. I also heard that he slept with Mike Comrie's wife and that Chris Pronger is making Lowe sign Comrie because of this....

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#174 Don Murdochs Hair
August 27 2009, 08:56PM
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Wanye,

Mission BC eh?

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#175 freeze
August 27 2009, 09:13PM
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I wonder if Stauffer tipped one down.... you know, as a sorry...

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#176 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 09:16PM
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Whoa, I think I just caused a wrinkle in time! How else would that explain me wishing to have never posted that off color remark, only to have it disappear!

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#177 Pouzar
August 27 2009, 09:36PM
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Not sure why everyone is thinking Comrie would be a top end center fo us, he has been playing the wing for the past couple years now...

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#178 Dallas
August 27 2009, 09:53PM
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freeze wrote:

I wonder if Stauffer tipped one down…. you know, as a sorry…

I think it was just from what he originally said about wanye never writing anymore and then wanye mentioned in the text that the person said somthing about him writing again if ya understand that

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#179 Gerald R. Ford
August 27 2009, 09:53PM
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IF it happens, I think the message it sends about the organization is more beneficial than the downside of adding yet another small forward. At least he's a small forward with SKILL. Size ain't everything. Hilary knows.

p.s. Wanye, SoF has knocked another 8 cents off the PowerAde 15-pack. I thought you'd want to know...

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#180 Fiveandagame
August 27 2009, 10:18PM
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I would rather have Comrie back than have Nylander ever play a game for us.

Um BTW this site have been 50 kinds of awesome lately and in effing august!

Can I just say, Game days are going to be a F*^king GONG SHOW!!!!!

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#181 Nikkles
August 27 2009, 10:34PM
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@ Gerald R. Ford:

Thanks. I now own 1206 bottles of powerade.

This post is powered by Green Squall.

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#182 TonyT
August 27 2009, 10:37PM
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2 words: Hillary Duff

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#183 Gerald R. Ford
August 27 2009, 10:46PM
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Nikkles wrote:

@ Gerald R. Ford: Thanks. I now own 1206 bottles of powerade. This post is powered by Green Squall.

I'm a Berry Blitz man, myself, but to each his own. We're still united under the Nation, brother, whatever our differences may be.

Funny... grape doesn't have a cool name. It's just grape.

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#184 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 10:49PM
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@ Gerald R. Ford:

Grape doesn't need a fancy name. Grape is classic and always tastes good, no matter what drink form it's in. Grape is badass because it doesn't think of itself as badass. Grape is like a warm pair of slippers on a cold winter day. Grape is like having sex with the prom queen after the prom. Grape is....

Sorry. I'll stop.

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#185 Tedley
August 27 2009, 10:51PM
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Grape flavour always tastes like what real grapes don't taste like.

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#186 Tedley
August 27 2009, 10:56PM
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Oh, and I would welcome Comrie back to the club. However, people were complaining about Tambi NOT making good on his promises of getting bigger/grittier, how about doing the opposite and continuing to stay small. Or is this all Batman? Anyways, not trying to beat a dead horse or anything...

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#187 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 11:24PM
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Ok so I decided to stay away from the computer for a few hours and hope for some updates. Uh can someone please just confirm or deny this now!!!! I would really like to take my life off pause.

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#188 David S
August 28 2009, 12:04AM
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Geez Dakin. Take your mind off things by Googling "Haylie Duff" and figuring how you can get transferred back to Edmonton. Because you just know jeanshorts is doing exactly the same thing right now.

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#189 David S
August 28 2009, 12:06AM
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Here man. This'll get you started...

hxxp://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/haylie-duff/pictures/haylie-duff-picture-1.jpg

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#190 jeanshorts
August 28 2009, 12:16AM
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@ Travis Dakin:

The latest report is: there's nothing to report.

@ David S: Oh really? Is that so smart guy? Am I actually doing that? Or am I using complicated algorythms and a home brewed computer program to invent a smaller, more powerful insulin pump that can be implanted inside the body, so that one day, just maybe, Mr. Toby Peterson can live a full and fruitful life without having the burden of carrying a little contraption strapped around his abdomen at all time?

I think we all know the answer.

*continues to google "celebrity addresses"*

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#191 Robin Brownlee
August 28 2009, 12:40AM
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As much as I'd like to tell you this Comrie item is the result of yet another Wanye Gretz bender involving alcohol and prescription drugs, I can say with certainty it's not -- at least not as far as interest in Comrie by the Oilers goes. Shortly before I wrote the Mike Comrie: Do Over? item Aug 19, I heard talk from people who would know that the Oilers were entertaining the possibility of offering Comrie a contract. I'd spent a couple of days tying to lock this down without much luck when Wanye's sleuthing hit the website today. I still haven't asked Mike about this, but I did talk to agent Ritch Winter today. He declined comment, so I don't know what the level of interest is from Comrie's side of things, given that I'm led to believe a handful of teams are looking at him. While I stand by my original post that a return by Comrie makes little sense, given the make-up of the roster and the Oilers salary cap issues, I can say without much doubt owner Daryl Katz doesn't much care about any misgivings I might have. This has legs.

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#192 humantorch
August 28 2009, 12:49AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ humantorch: You worked for the Brick and you have live in Amsterdam? *imagines the dots that connect that line*

It's been a long, some might say "magical" journey...

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#193 Joey Moss
August 28 2009, 12:50AM
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Weren't we all told that Katz would leave the hockey to the hockey people? WTF is he doing trying to sign players, particularly one like Comrie? Based on what has (or hasn't) happened since Donkey Kong took over I fear we may be in store for many years of bad ownership.

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#194 jeanshorts
August 28 2009, 01:26AM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

This has legs.

There you have it! Comrie to Edmonton is 100 percent true! Verified by Brownlee himself!

*Pre-orders a box full of Comrie jersey's, one for every day of the week*

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#195 Batman 67
August 28 2009, 02:01AM
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@ Joey Moss: For christ sake ,Shut up.

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#196 Dallas
August 28 2009, 02:25AM
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Batman 67 wrote:

@ Joey Moss: For christ sake ,Shut up.

Lmao I second that dude. And oh yeah the world is gonna blow up in 2010

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#197 Joey Moss
August 28 2009, 04:23AM
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@ Batman 67: @ Dallas: no.

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#198 Dallas
August 28 2009, 06:13AM
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@ Joey Moss: Smfh are you the real Joey

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#199 cm
August 28 2009, 07:00AM
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@ Batman 67:

Are you the real batman?

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#200 Dallas
August 28 2009, 07:35AM
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@ cm: Lol

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