GDB/GDFD 59: La bataille d'Alberta
Wanye
February 21 2009 12:47PM
Yeah, so you might say this is a biggie for us.
Wanye Gretz: Ever since our crew personally oversaw the invention of the written word, electricity, hockey, the internet and finally both nations we have had one goal on the horizon. One goal that was so much in the forefront of everyone's mind that bingofuel actually broke up with his girlfriend this week to make sure nothing distracted him.
For the first time in the 6 billion-year history of the Earth, Oilers fans and Flames fans can come somewhere and chirp at one another during a Battle of Alberta game.
Now just like when playing nude Jenga there are rules here too. No male on male accidental contact for starters. No personal attacks, profanity laced tirades or other offside nonsensery if you please. Is this because we are boring? No. It's because if we don't have some rules of engagement we will probably start a war that will eventually end in Red Deer with Kent W and Willis brawling with Klingon Bat-leths over who has the ability to really lay claim to the last initial "W." But funny/witty commentary? Oh yeah. Pointing out the obvious like the fact that Calgary turned it's back on all forms of cerebral logic and signed Todd Bertuzzi? Good to go.
And so now I hand it to our colleagues at FlamesNation and see a Wanye Life Dream™ fulfilled. Next to achieve? Three-way with Natalie Portman and Carrie Underwood.
I have waited for this day for over two years!!!!!! -WG
TLP: Man, I love Battle of Alberta games. The rivalry, the drama, the easiest two points Calgary will earn all season. It's just magical.
Now, I don’t know how many Oiler fans mosey over to FlamesNation to check out what Kent and I have to say (it’s all really great, believe me!), but since this is being posted on both sides of “The Nation,” I will make certain concessions to our neighbors to the north, namely first explaining myself in a normal way, then dumbing it way, way down for all you clods that can’t get a job in a real city that people want to live in.
Now, let’s be honest with ourselves and say that the Oilers have been going through a bit of a rough patch the past few years in terms of players not wanting to come to your city or stay there, a general manager that was widely regarded as “borderline retarded,” and a coach who lost his team three months ago and still, somehow, has a job. (Trans.: Edmonton bad! Players hate! Lowe dumdum! Coach mean!)
Meanwhile, Calgary (you might know it by its other name: Not-Loserville) has had its cup run over with success and happiness. Players want to come here, Darryl Sutter makes good decisions, and Mike Keenan.. well, at least he’s not Jim Playfair. (Trans.: Everyone like! Big wins! Fun times! Happy all day no sad!)
We at FlamesNation understand that you’re probably a fan of the Oilers because of, say, the 1980s. Can’t blame you. We know it’s hard not to root for a winner. But guys, the 1980s were like 30 years ago almost! It’s time to start living in the here and now. And if you want, we’ll even take you in down here if you’re among Edmonton’s best and brightest. We’ve been looking for someone to clean up all the stables down at the Stampede Grounds anyway. (Trans.: Cup Days gone! Flames fan good! Sweep poop yes?)
Seriously though, the Flames are going to annihilate you.
All my love, TLP
Kent W: At the conclusion of George Orwell's 1984, Protagonist Winston Smith comes to the realization that he loves his nemesis - the State. I think that's about where I'm at with the Oilers these days, although I come by affection more honestly: there was no room 101 or psychological torture required - I just honestly enjoy watching the Oilers play.
I love watching Dustin Penner lumber around. It always brings a smile to my face to think of the draft picks it required to grab him, or his absurd $4.25M/year albatross of a contract.
I giggle when I see the 'C' on Ethan Moreau's chest. It gives me pleasure to check the Oilers ever-full injury list. I laugh whenever I remember that Jeff Drouin-Deslasarasrfasdfsadfasdrsdfs is the only goalie the club has signed through next year.
The negative goal differential, the constantly being outshot, the worse than average special teams, Kevin Lowe's comb-over; I love it all. MacTavish's post game press-conferences are frequently delightful. Zach Stortini's cartoonish countenance and laughable "fighting" style - it's all good. Oh, and thanks for Curtis Glencross by the way...
I think what I love most, however, is the continued mediocrity. Edmonton doesn't suck like, say, the Islanders or the Thrashers. There's always the faint possibility of making the play-offs on the horizon for the Oilers. That chance, however slim, like the distant scent of baking bread to the staring, drives the organization stumbling forward each off-season and trade deadline, salivating and half crazed, desperate for the taste of success.
As such, they're never a big threat to get any better. To take the big leap. Like a hopeless junkie, the Oilers never seem to reach their "bottom" so there's never any real chance of a recovery. Blow it up and start anew? Move veterans for draft picks? It's hard to do when 8th in the conference is spitting distance away, isn't it?
It won't bother me if the Flames lose this evening. Calgary is 12 points up on Edmonton and have little to gain by a victory. Edmonton, on the other hand, can scratch closer to the final play-off spot and move another step nearer to becoming a buyer at the trade deadline. And I would love that too.
It's win-win for me tonight gents. Im going to crack a beer and cheer for every single goal that's scored.
Sincerely, Kent Wilson
Lanny wrote:
I guess that explains why your Mom keeps kissing my head.
Chris wrote:
They never met in 1990. Gretzky and the Kings beat them. Oilers beat them in 1991.
Lanny wrote:
HAHAHAHA wait.... what? Is that it?
Jason Gregor wrote:
HAHAHAHAHA Now that's what I'm talking about!
Gregor = BONER!!!!!
@ Lanny:
Living in the past? Read my above post. (If you can) In every category that matters; the Oilers have had more RECENT success than the Flames.
Last playoff win series win. Oilers.
Last Cup. Oilers.
Current season series. 2-1 Oilers.
Last time the two teams met in the playoffs. Oilers.
Wow Lanny. Your aging vetran team is going to win the Northwest. Congrats! Now go back to typing witty Calgarian remarks like, "Penis Head"... Very clever.
"It won’t bother me if the Flames lose this evening. Calgary is 12 points up on Edmonton and have little to gain by a victory" - Kent W.
So I guess what your saying is that, even if the Flames lose they are still in a much better standing and considered a superior team? Yes, that sounds almost exactly right.
That being said, people who are willing to put money on this game are picking the Flames to win. Talk is cheap but those who like to bet on games and such have given the Flames quite solid odds (although surprisingly not as good as when SJS plays NYI, I have no idea why).
This is also with the Flames being without two of their top 5 scorers. All that being said, despite belief, Iggy and Phaneuf always bring their 'A' games against the Coilers because they understand that NO ONE wants to live in Deadmonton; they experienced that first hand. I mean I didnt exactly see either of them lining up at the first opportunity to come back to their home town... This is probably because they dont wanna get stabbed walking down the street, or get shot in the Joeys restaurant (that actually happened).
Oh crap I forgot we have to dumb it down for Edmontonians... ok let me reiterate it:
-Flames more points = better team -talk = cheap, Odds for Calgary victory -Flames victory with key losses to lineup (Iggy = 4 point night) -No one likes Deadmonton; they die young
I just reinacted tonights came at the outdoor rink to pay homage to "Hockey Day on Canada"
Oilers Won 12 posts to the Flamers 4.
Smid scored his first and Hemsky had 12 points (I was Hemsky).
Phaneuf had the worst game of his career.
Sorry Calgary you just sucked tonight!
Gregor.....you are the king...I'm posting that on the counter for all the shames to read!!!!!
Oh you Calgary fans, misanthropes all.
This nerdy internet fight is not even going to be funny. We have the numbers, and the wit. I feel sorry for KentW and TLP because they are going to be by themselves trying to bring to heat against 40 or so disgruntled Oil fans.
Jason Gregor wrote:
Oh the one with Fleury on his knees before losing game seven? yeah... I remember that. Ha.
@ Jason Gregor: Well played Gregor!!!!
For Calgary fans only - A misanthrope is a person who dislikes or distrusts humanity as a general rule.
B-rad wrote:
jeanshorts wrote:
nuts to that dude, i'm gonna be drunk at some crummy bar by the time the puck drops.
ps i live in boston so i am better off than either calgary or edmonton fans! USA USA USA
@ TLP:
How are you not cheering for the Bruins???????
I will be attending tonights game and bring my Iginla and Kipprusoff Vodoo dolls.
Somebody is going to have a knee injury tonight.
Brent G. wrote:
Typical @sshole Calgarian. Everyone here wants to talk hockey... Brent wants to insult the city. Let's compare FRANCHISES and ROSTERS loser! Many fans of the battle of Alberta make their homes all over the country...so this Calgary-Edmonton city thing is boring and irrelevant. Why is it that Calgary civic pride seems to be derrived solely from bashing Edmonton?
Speaking of dumb, and dumbing down... Have you read anything by Lanny lately?
jeanshorts wrote:
was never really a fan, and my grandfather who taught me all about hockey when i was a kid, was from calgary.
I can't wait for this game...is it 8 yet?
Chris wrote:
Im much too lazy to go up and search because this blog is getting pretty long but if you feel so inclined read through it and you will have the opportunity of some Oiler fan commenting about how Iggy and Phaneuf want to return to Edmonton. Something to the tune of, "When they come to Rexall they are saddened to realize they will be playing for the Flames." It was purely provoked.
Actually if you read through all kinds of the posts there was quite the convo about how no UFA worth mentioning wants to come to Edmonton, a losing organization... because no one wants to play in Deadmonton!
@ Chris: Chris wrote:
Bringing it!!
Come on.... Let's go !
Let's discuss something we can all agree on....
Dave Brown - Battle of Alberta "All Time Greatest Fighter"
( for you Flames fans - He was a Oiler, who kicked ass )
Oh by the way, one quick thing before I go: You gotta chill out, Gregor.
@ Brent G.: Big name UFA's aren't drawn to either organization. Calgary and Edmonton are both winter cities in the western conference with difficult travel schedules. Don't delude yourself into believing that Calgary is somehow a much more attractive destination for aging superstars. By the way, UFA Sheldon Souray was happy to sign in Edmonton and the Oilers are NOT a losing organization... I'm also glad that the Oilers didn't waste the best playing years of a true superstar (Iginla) exiting the playoffs year after YEAR in the first round.
Brent G. wrote:
Yeah that was me and it was provoked. Because those poor bastards are forced to wear that crap jersey when all they really want to do is play for the team that they grew up loving and will always love... The mighty Oil.
Jason Gregor wrote:
probably because you look like you have cancer
Hey Wanye, what the fuck is this? A huge news posting on both of your crappy ass sites that bashes the shit out of the Oilers and you have no retort? Where is the retaliation?
Honestly, I HOPE EVERYONE WILL READ THIS:
Wanye and the people behind OilersNation have been Flames fans all along. They are the ones behind FlamesNation. Wanye is the wizard behind the curtain pulling all the strings. Wanye doesn't care about the Oilers, or he would at least stand up for em.
This site is a joke. Wanye is a keen flames fan who thought it would be funny if he could harness the diehard, tech-savvy Oilers fanbase for advertising revenue in order to finance his true dream of running a Flames nation website. TLP is a pseudonym. The writing style is the same.
Everyone should boycott Oilersnation and head on back to HFBoards until Wanye either shows up and commits hari-kari publically to satisfy our bloodlust, or at least someone stands up for the Oilers and cuts down the Flamesnation. Ya hear that Wanye? You scurvy bottomed filanderer... You best right this ship before I blast yee from the internets.
@ Lanny: Classy. You are a nice source of embarrassment for the two other Flames fans in cyberspace.
@ Lanny:
So, you're mom thinks cancer is sexy?
DAMMIT. YOUR. YOUR. NOT YOU'RE. CLUTTERBUCK!!!
Didn't your "star" aquisiion Cole say on an american radio that playing in Deadmonton is like being playing in Siberia? nothing to do, just put my time in and wait for the trade dead line when i'm back in the east? At least we have given the fans something to cheer about instead of ....how many times have you made the play offs in the last ten years?
Sorry for the change of subject, but does anyone else think that the guy dropping the puck in the pic above is Brownlee circa 1985? As for the game tonight, Regher hammers Hemsky, Penner fights Regher, the mighty Oil get angry and win by 3!! Or Roloson gets chased in the first.... FMNF
@ jeanshorts: you should change your name to SKID MARKS.Your mom ,Your mom, Your mom,Your mom, who sounds childish?
Im new to this quoting thing that last thing was directed at Lanny's cancer comment not anything Gregor wrote.
Lanny wrote:
"is like being playing?" Really? I guess that means you live 2 1/2 hours from Siberia... Only the schools are better here.
Chris wrote:
Thats why we have better Weather, Woman, and sports Writers, and lest we forget... a better team
Chris wrote:
Alright Chris, you're going to have to ease up on Lanny - it's too easy, like poking a stick at the retarded kid.
Lanny wrote:
Dude thats not cool! Your an @sshole! Its ok to say skin head but dont make fun on ppl with cancer and stuff. If this was my blog you’d be off of this so fast.
Lanny wrote:
So um... since 1998-99 to 2008-2009 the Oilers have made the playoffs FIVE times and the flames have made it FOUR times.
By my count that is.... More for the Oilers
@ Travis Dakin - FMNF:
Another well researched burn by our friends down south.
Cory Sarich..$3.6 million a year…IS that really better than Penner??? Is it? Penner was an awful signing but Sarich at 600,000 less is just as horrific.
The difference being, of course, that it didn't cost the Flames 3 future assets to sign Sarich. You see, Calgary doesn't have to stoop to desperately robbing the questionable young talent of other teams with BS RFA offer sheets.
Can you name a big UFA that has come to Calgary? Didn’t think so.
Nor can I name a big time player that wanted out of the city so badly that he demanded a trade in the wake of a long play-off run.
On that note, I CAN name lots of star players that chose to waive free agency in favor of staying Calgary. Many of them arguably took discounts as well. The list includes:
Jarome Iginla, Robyn Regehr, Dion Phaneuf, Daymond Langkow and Miikka Kiprusoff.
And Kent, nice “I win either way” sit-on-the-fence view of the game. Calgarians still have an inferiority complex from Edmonton. We know it. That’s why Calgary radio stations still mock Edmonton. We don’t because we don’t care about Cowtown, and it is never good to pick on the weak-kneed baby of the bunch.
Ahh yes. You care so little that you wrote a multiple paragraph screed in response. And your petulant, insecure organization went whining to the league in response to a radio stations parody song. Inferiority complex? *yawn* Methinks you protest too much.
The only time you beat the Oilers, they scored the winning goal…kind of anti-climatic don’t you think.
Aside from, of course, the last 5 years under Sutter, under whom the Flames have dominated the Oilers.
getting a boner over a 15 goal scorer, Typcial Flamer supporter
Given that Edmonton might have two twenty goal scorers this season, one would think you'd get excited over a 15 goal guy too. As for the Flames, Glencross is one of 9 players in double digits in terms of goals. Three of which have already crested the 20 goal margin - that's three more than the Oilers, naturally.
A true Battle of Alberta fan knows that bragging rights in the head-to-head matchups mean more than the standings. You would think that a Flame fan would try to hold onto that.
Unfortunately, after beating the Oil time and time again over the last few years (as well as consistently finishing above them in the standings) winning a single battle of Alberta game has been drained of meaning. It would kind of be like celebrating beating the neighborhood retard at connect 4 or kicking a 3 legged mongrel dog. Really, it's not much to be proud of.
Brent G. wrote:
You stupid idiot, I am making fun of cancer? no wonder you still have MacTavish as a coach, no wonder no one wants to play in Edm, it's a place filled with a bunch of dummies
Lanny wrote:
Clearly you don't read this site, and have no idea what FMNF means. Because if we had our way, MacT would have been out the door long ago.
Next.
I'm okay to concede that the Flames have been surprisingly good this year. In 05/06 they finished with 103 points. Then 96 and 94 points respectively the following two years. I thought bringing in a goon like Bertuzzi was a sign of pure deperation... a poor attempt to stem the tide of decline. However, guys like Cammalleri, and GlenX have been nice additions and have brought much needed speed back to Calgary. Enjoy the ride Flames Fans: this is your go-for-it-year... a few more first round exits and it will be rebuild time. At least then, most of you guys will go back underground.
jeanshorts wrote:
Wow what a burn by skid marks, NEXT
@ Lanny:
Wasn't a burn. Merely a statement.
Here we go FLAMES here we go, Clap, Clap,......no third clap so will the Oilers have thier PR man contact me......LOSERS
Oilers 4-3 in shootout