Slow clap for the Flames Organization

Wanye
November 05 2009 12:21PM

Just when this item seems to be getting a little old, more and more information is coming to light about the fateful decision to jump the Calgary Flames and their families to the front of the H1N1 vaccination line up. During a time when thousands of hard-working non-hockey-playing Albertans are waiting in line ups so long that many are expiring of natural causes before they reach the front of the line, the Flames flexed their collective clout and had a special vaccination clinic set up for the private use of the Team and their families.

This story broke earlier in the week when it was brought to our collective attention that the Calgary Flames had jedi mind tricked someone senior at Alberta Health Services into setting up a private clinic to administer flu vaccines to the Flames players, staff and families. This inspired many levels of rage amongst a good many people, who believed that Pro Athletes should be left to die at the hands of H1N1 infected zombie hordes that will be terrorizing major Canadian cities within days.

Once this initial story had made the rounds like a Californian Wildfire, more news comes today that the Flames have defended themselves publicly with one arm and with the other quietly went about having their AHL farm team skipped to the front of the line too.

“Tuesday evening, with the great Flames Flu Scandal still raging, members of the Calgary Flames farm club were quietly inoculated against H1N1 by their team physician.

This, despite the fact that British Columbia has been strictly rationing its flu vaccine from the outset. According to the B.C. health department, only pregnant women, children under five, those with serious chronic health conditions, and caregivers of infants under six months, are currently entitled to receive the vaccine.

Perry Kendall, B.C.'s chief health officer, says doctors in private practice can requisition vaccine for their patients, but only on the understanding that it be reserved for those high-risk cases. Nonetheless, the Heat's team doctor officially diagnosed most of the players as "high-risk" and vaccinated them accordingly.”

Oh man, is this ever rich.

If we actually believed that the swine flu was a threat to 99% of the population we might be more concerned about this. But instead we can totally see how this was a good idea for the medical staffers involved and the heretofore community oriented Calgary Flames.

Not only do NHL hockey players have a greater need to ward off disease than say – oh a 94 year old woman with chronic bronchitis – we can also see how protecting the Calgary Flames of tomorrow should be jobs number 1 and 2 respectively. If this wasn’t insulting enough to the father of four, wearing his Flames hat a little less proudly as he waits in a 6 hour line to have his toddlers immunized today, he can rest easy knowing that the families of both the NHL and AHL teams have been vaccinated as well.

Although

Well, who would want to live with the knowledge that Mrs. Robyn Regehr contracted the H1N1 virus whilst shopping for purses at Holt Renfrew? Would you want that hanging over your head? Would ya? Huh? What if Cory Sarich’s aunt’s cousin’s babysitter were to get sick too? How would that impact the penalty killing unit? Where do you want to draw the line for who to save and who to let go?

Never mind that most of the hockey wives we have met rarely, if ever, leave the confines of their rented Canadian apartment to do anything that interacts with the swarms of “non players and player families” that infest every inch of the city that they have to live in 6 months of the year. These disease ridden germ bags will totally cough on you as you wait in line for your daily Starbucks. Ew!

Look at this picture of people waiting in line for flu shots today:

Babies. Babies, their parents and more babies. How can a baby be expected to post a .600 record on the road? Will a 3 year old score you 20 goals and suck up 15 quality minutes of ice time on any given night? Not on your life brother. No, given the choice between saving the Flames and saving non-hockey playing children and the elderly, what is being called "the biggest black eye in franchise history" has been a great idea.

The other thing that is sad about this business

In addition to the firestorm outlined above, comes news that the Health Authoritados have found the person in charge of this fateful decision and have promptly fired his ass. Think that the players are calling that guy to send their sincere apologies? Yeah, we can totally see the Flames – or even better their families- banding together to assist the long serving civil servant who made the fateful decision to help his local hockey squadron. This poor bastard has just seen a 20 year career in Medical Administration go right out the window to give preferential treatment to a group of people that probably won’t even give it a second thought.

Man, do we ever hate the Flames.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#101 David S
November 05 2009, 03:01PM
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This thread is going to make Craig's head explode. He demanded this site be all Oilers 24-7 and NOBODY IS LISTENING TO HIM!

Poor guy.

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#102 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:01PM
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smiliegirl15 wrote:

Just because someone is gay doesn't mean he lusts after every man he sees. Do you guys want every girl that crosses your path or think she's hot after you just because you're a guy?

Edit - realizes what a silly question that was when it comes to humans with Y chromosomes and shakes head. Never mind

If Im naked in the shower with them no... not at all... im thinking of my taxes and how to grow better organic tomatoes. Hell no, naked in shower = sexy time.

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#103 Maggie the Monkey
November 05 2009, 03:02PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Vagina-Eater? You guys never heard of Carpet-Muncher? it already is a term for what you are implying instead of making a new one up... and was used derogatorily in the past to women. Now its seen as a great quality =)

You're right that it's sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but I've never known it to be used as an insult against straight men.

(And I was just repeating jeanshorts' use of the term. Carpet-Muncher rolls off the tongue much better, so to speak.)

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#104 Dan the Man
November 05 2009, 03:05PM
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Soooo...predictions for tonight's game?

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#105 Maggie the Monkey
November 05 2009, 03:05PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Yeah I understand that in order to get rid of the underlying hatred and fear and what not that in our society you have to cut it off at the knees, which I guess means trying to get rid of the derogatory words. But at the end of the day the meaning of a word is what you make of it. The word Faggot has gone through 6 or 7 different definitions since the 16th century. It started out as a word for an old, useless woman, then it was used for poor people who collected sticks, then it was used as a word to describe the actual bundle of sticks, and so on and so forth until the 1900's when it became a degratory term for a gay person. I can't wait to see what form the word takes on next!

Anyway what were we talking about? The Flames sucking at life?

*turns around to leave the room and smashes his face against the wall, knocking him unconscious*

There is an unfortunate part of faggot's etymology that you missed.

At some dark point in Western history, gay men where burned at the stake. This was when the term transferred from the wooden sticks to the gays being burned. It's one of the uglier interpretations of any word I can think of.

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#106 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:06PM
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I've defended my views through 50 comments. So to summarize.

Being gay is okay and shouldn't have any restrictions places on their lives

Hemmertime believes being gay is a birth defect, and only restriction on gays should be separate showers.

We have surprisingly open and accepting community of posters on ON, Especially for a hockey blog - most other hockey blogs would probably consider me the Liberal minded one

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#107 dragon
November 05 2009, 03:06PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Everyone. You do, I do. Its called opinion, which is a word Ive typed many times today heh.

that'll work. agree to disagree kinda...

back to Oil Babies: Oil-Rangers 1-4? (No Horc no puck, kinda situation, harder to score) What do you think?

as far as f-lames go, typical: this is a Calgary-owned province, we do it 'cause we can, I suppose...

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#108 jeanshorts
November 05 2009, 03:06PM
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@Maggie the Monkey

Yeah, I understand that words can be used to hurt, but I guess I'm just a subscriber to the old "stick and stones" motto, and it's partly my own ignorance as to why people don't think exactly like I do. I mean really, the world would be a better place if they did right? Right, because I'm awesome.

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#109 dragon
November 05 2009, 03:10PM
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Dan the Man wrote:

Soooo...predictions for tonight's game?

Gaborik hurt yet?

No? Oh too bad...

* bad memories from seasons past when Minnie ruled the Oil are rushing to my head *

I'll stick to my initial 1-4. But that's ok: it's early in the season, 21-yo still learn the ropes, flu is killing us and...what was the other one? Oh, JFJ is out as well, :-(

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#110 Maggie the Monkey
November 05 2009, 03:11PM
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Dan the Man wrote:

Soooo...predictions for tonight's game?

Wait - this isn't part of the Society for the Better Treatment of Gays, Lesbians and the Transgendered? Man...

Anybody reading this is going to think I'm making it up but I have to go and help a Vegan / Orthodox Jewish friend move her couch anyway.

Go Oilers!

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#111 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:11PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Im all fine with everyone else being openly gay... but I wouldnt shower in the same room as an openly gay teammate. It should be Dont Ask Dont Tell until your career is over. Your private life can be private but if you come out of the closet in a christian nation be prepared for the boos and to be hated. I dont mind gays but I still believe its wrong and wouldnt want my kid idolizing an openly gay sports hero.

In europe they have unisex washrooms and shower stalls etc. Doesn't seem anyone worries overly about unwanted sex? Self discipline is self disciple. Even Gay people have self discipline when it comes to sex. Guess what, sexual preditors are sexual preditors regardless and it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Are you in the shower for a shower for sex or something else?

As for the old saw about Canada being a christian nation, never was never will be. Christians have always been an minority and always will be. Same with the States, South America, Europe and even Italy. And if you knew anything about Christianity, you would know Christianity and civil rulership do not actually go hand in hand, since Christians are not supposed to consider anything but God and his Glory. The means being rabid hockey fans as well.

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#112 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
November 05 2009, 03:12PM
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Maggie the Monkey wrote:

Wait - this isn't part of the Society for the Better Treatment of Gays, Lesbians and the Transgendered? Man...

Anybody reading this is going to think I'm making it up but I have to go and help a Vegan / Orthodox Jewish friend move her couch anyway.

Go Oilers!

Don't even get me started on vegans - talk about unnatural...

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#113 Maggie the Monkey
November 05 2009, 03:12PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Yeah, I understand that words can be used to hurt, but I guess I'm just a subscriber to the old "stick and stones" motto, and it's partly my own ignorance as to why people don't think exactly like I do. I mean really, the world would be a better place if they did right? Right, because I'm awesome.

No argument here.

*somewhere, somebody quietly applauds*

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#114 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:13PM
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Oh and for predictions... well I actually think the Rangers are going to win but... Oilers 3-2, goals by 27, 71 , 46. Ranger goals by Del Zotto and a Dman

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#115 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:15PM
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@BarryS

The last unisex shower I used was Stage 13. I actually got laid in the shower stall (wasnt a stranger though). So maybe thats why I take the view. Damn I miss stage 13. Now THAT was decadence

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#116 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
November 05 2009, 03:15PM
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BarryS wrote:

In europe they have unisex washrooms and shower stalls etc. Doesn't seem anyone worries overly about unwanted sex? Self discipline is self disciple. Even Gay people have self discipline when it comes to sex. Guess what, sexual preditors are sexual preditors regardless and it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Are you in the shower for a shower for sex or something else?

As for the old saw about Canada being a christian nation, never was never will be. Christians have always been an minority and always will be. Same with the States, South America, Europe and even Italy. And if you knew anything about Christianity, you would know Christianity and civil rulership do not actually go hand in hand, since Christians are not supposed to consider anything but God and his Glory. The means being rabid hockey fans as well.

You can't argue that Christian morality doesn't dominate Western legislation. Explain to me the rationale behind declaring Sunday a day of rest without referencing Christianity.

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#117 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:18PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Its unnatural because it is a birth defect, the same way a club foot or super strength would be unnatural. They are born that way so I don't hold it against them, I wont NOT be a friend with someone because they are gay, they never had a choice. But its a defect.

Boy are you behind times. Turns out Homosexuality is part of the "normal" range of sexual behaviour is practiced by all sexual species. The former version it was not was just an example of Victorian Bigotry. As I recall, the term for a female cow who mounts other female cows is bulling. It is also a part of dominance behavior where one animal will mount another in a show of which is dominant.

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#118 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:22PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Don't even get me started on vegans - talk about unnatural...

Ya you're backing any argument that gets meat in your mouth hey?

Bazinga.

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#119 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:22PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

You can't argue that Christian morality doesn't dominate Western legislation. Explain to me the rationale behind declaring Sunday a day of rest without referencing Christianity.

Actually, Sunday day off as a general holiday is the gift of the union movement. There was no way most rich Christian shop owners were giving anyone else a day off (even "working man" Christians) until the unions forced them to. As a rule Victorians were as hypocritical in religion as they were in sex.

As for Morality dominating legislation, most legislation is actually against the ten commandments. Read reformation history, all the great caticisms have a common rule, to obey the governement as a part of God's law even though those governments are creations of evil. Even the Catholics obey the government in spite of the evils of it.

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#120 Chaz
November 05 2009, 03:24PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

The last unisex shower I used was Stage 13. I actually got laid in the shower stall (wasnt a stranger though). So maybe thats why I take the view. Damn I miss stage 13. Now THAT was decadence

~Listening to crappy Nickleback-esque bands like those at stage 13 scream out 'Birth Defect' to me. It's just not natural IMO. ~

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#121 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
November 05 2009, 03:25PM
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@BarryS

Not arguing the day of rest concept, arguing choice of the specific day. It's not a coincidence. How about Christmas and Easter as stat holidays, while the poor Sikhs have to work Diwali. Again, not a coincidence.

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#122 Maggie the Monkey
November 05 2009, 03:25PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Ya you're backing any argument that gets meat in your mouth hey?

Bazinga.

Very well played sir. Very well played.

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#123 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:26PM
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BarryS wrote:

Boy are you behind times. Turns out Homosexuality is part of the "normal" range of sexual behaviour is practiced by all sexual species. The former version it was not was just an example of Victorian Bigotry. As I recall, the term for a female cow who mounts other female cows is bulling. It is also a part of dominance behavior where one animal will mount another in a show of which is dominant.

You just described prison rape. Which as we all know is totally natural.

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#124 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:31PM
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Chaz wrote:

~Listening to crappy Nickleback-esque bands like those at stage 13 scream out 'Birth Defect' to me. It's just not natural IMO. ~

The music and atmosphere at Big Valley tend to be better yes. But the Loud Zone at Stage13 was like going back to roman times. Vomitoriums and all.

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#125 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:31PM
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In tonights I perdict many missed passes, a lot of giveaways, a couple own goals, more shots missing the net than hitting it, players tripping over other players sticks, obvious penalties misssed, fanthom penalties called, a great many faceoffs lost and oilers 6-5 over the rangers.

GoOilers!!

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#126 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:33PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

You just described prison rape. Which as we all know is totally natural.

Also Lion, Wolf, Buffalo, Deer, Animals in Zoo's, birds, etc. etc.

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#127 roughneck
November 05 2009, 03:40PM
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hey did you guys see those photos of the moose mounting the buffalo statue?

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#128 Hemmertime
November 05 2009, 03:47PM
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For PPV feed tonight check: www.atdhe.net/watchtv.html

Be prepared to be the cause of whales dying though.

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#129 BarryS
November 05 2009, 03:47PM
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roughneck wrote:

hey did you guys see those photos of the moose mounting the buffalo statue?

I bet the moose needs both glasses and a pain killer.

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#130 Librarian Mike
November 05 2009, 04:09PM
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@jeanshorts

I mean really, the world would be a better place if they did right? Right, because I'm awesome.

Right. You're Jean F**king Shorts.

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#131 Librarian Mike
November 05 2009, 04:10PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

For PPV feed tonight check: www.atdhe.net/watchtv.html

Be prepared to be the cause of whales dying though.

Whales......GAY!

*makes peace offering and 'agree to disagree' gesture*

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#132 Senator Theo
November 05 2009, 04:33PM
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I may be way off here, but didn't Glenn Anderson come out of the closet? I realize that it wasn't while he was playing, but that's something, right?

If he didn't come out of the closet, My apologies to Glenn.

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#133 Librarian Mike
November 05 2009, 04:37PM
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Senator Theo wrote:

I may be way off here, but didn't Glenn Anderson come out of the closet? I realize that it wasn't while he was playing, but that's something, right?

If he didn't come out of the closet, My apologies to Glenn.

No. I'm pretty sure that was an urban myth, as was Comrie/Salo's wife and Rob Schremp as an NHL player.

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#134 Senator Theo
November 05 2009, 04:58PM
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@Librarian Mike

must be the moustache...

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#135 BUCK75
November 05 2009, 05:12PM
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http://www.dieselairhorns.com/sounds/BM_RS-3B.mp3

Wow I leave here & the post talking about the Simpson's wonder bat episode & how the flames are dicks. It appears we have taken a turn for the worse talking about alternative lifestyles & tongue'n groove women.

*shakes head*

NOBODY WILL WIN THIS ARGUEMENT!!!

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#136 Jason
November 05 2009, 05:43PM
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The players on these teams collectively make $55 million in payroll, and pay a lot of taxes. Most people make the comment that these people are not better than us, so why do they get all these privledges. Well they are all better than us, make more money, and live as close of a life to a celebrity as you can in Canada. So if they and their families want flu shots first, let them. If anyone really wanted the shot, they could leave their place an hour before the clinic opened and get one, so dont say they are stealing shots from poor defenceless children. If you earn over 500k/year, and weren't able to get the shot, then you have a right to whine. Regular people do not.

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#137 SirFozz
November 05 2009, 07:01PM
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I click on the comments page at 100 to read everyone hate on the flames and to my lack of surprise this thread has gone WAAAY off topic. Haha, I love the nation. Weird. GOOILERS!!!!!

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#138 SirFozz
November 05 2009, 07:05PM
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Jason wrote:

The players on these teams collectively make $55 million in payroll, and pay a lot of taxes. Most people make the comment that these people are not better than us, so why do they get all these privledges. Well they are all better than us, make more money, and live as close of a life to a celebrity as you can in Canada. So if they and their families want flu shots first, let them. If anyone really wanted the shot, they could leave their place an hour before the clinic opened and get one, so dont say they are stealing shots from poor defenceless children. If you earn over 500k/year, and weren't able to get the shot, then you have a right to whine. Regular people do not.

1st- you're a dolt. To say they are better than us because they make more money is just ignorant. You can say they are better than us at hockey. Period.

2nd- people were lining up at four in the morning to try to get a shot, not leaving their house at 8am, so it was not that easy.

3rd-you only have the right to whine if you make over 500k?!?

4th-nah, I'll just stick with you're a dolt.

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